FADE IN:

EXT. NEW YORK

A VOICE-OVER NARRATION explains THE WORLD OF 2069.

VOICE-OVER

In the future, governments have been replaced by corporate syndicates who wage open war with each other. Their primary business is implantable DART chips, which have divided society right down the middle.

(turns over page)

That's it, there's nothing else here. Have fun!

CUT TO:

A HELMETED THUG approaches AGENT MILES KILO, who is TIED UP.

HELMETED THUG

Hello. To indicate how we'll bring this game's messages across, I'm going to repeatedly punch you in the face.

MILES KILO

Wait, is Miles Kilo actually my name? Why the fuck am I named after two units of measurement?

KILO ESCAPES by HEADBUTTING the HELMETED THUG with his UNHELMETED FACE. He is then forced to KILL a bunch of GUARDS.

MILES KILO

We're starting straight with the action? Then this must be either a dream, an in medias res opening or --

LILY DRAWL enters. She is holding a NOTEPAD, which means SCIENTIST.

LILY DRAWL

Hello, Kilo. Please take a seat.

MILES KILO

-- a test, right.

JACK DENHAM, CEO of EUROCORP, enters with AGENT JULES MERIT.

JACK DENHAM

Yes, Brian Cox, always evil, let's move on. How did he do?

LILY DRAWL

Kilo killed the living fuck out of a bunch of our own guys by way of a test, which further demonstrates how utterly evil all this is.

JACK DENHAM

Excellent! He really "terminated" them. Eh? Eh? I mean like killing actually.

JULES MERIT

So what makes this guy so special?

LILY DRAWL

Kilo's been implanted with the new DART 6 chip, which can breach electronic devices and other chips. Want to drive your enemies to suicide? There's an app for that. Want them to turn on each other? There's an app for that too.

JACK DENHAM

It seems our competitor Aspari is working on a similar chip. Lily, would you collect all necessary forms and correspondence relating to the DART 6 chip so we may file a timely patent application?

EVERYONE stares at DENHAM.

JACK DENHAM

Oh, what am I saying? Merit, you take Kilo down to Aspari to wipe out half its security force and stab lead scientist Gary Chang in the ear.

EXT. ASPARI HQ - LOS ANGELES

KILO and MERIT are aboard a DROPSHIP headed to LOS ANGELES.

JULES MERIT

This isn't going to be like those tests, you know. This is the real deal. Civilian casualties is a non-issue.

MILES KILO

There were both armed guards and homeless people to kill in those tests.

JULES MERIT

This is going to be exactly like those tests.

They DISEMBARK and head into ASPARI HQ.

JULES MERIT

Let's go! What are you waiting for?

MILES KILO

Hang on, I can't see through this sudden brightness. I'm assuming the high dynamic range rendering is making my eyes slowly adjust.

JULES MERIT

Oh no, this isn't HDR, it's a shitload of bloom and it never goes away.

MILES KILO

Then neither will my squinting.

After they SPLIT UP, KILO'S DART 6 CHIP intercepts a CALL between GARY CHANG and DRAWL.

DART 6 CHIP

Drawl is warning Chang of your arrival, Kilo.

MILES KILO

Oh, you talk too?

DART 6 CHIP

Yeah, whenever there's no supporting character around to deliver plot-relevant information, I have to do it.

Eventually, KILO finds CHANG, who is holding a GUN to his HEAD.

GARY CHANG

You'll never take my chip alive!

CHANG KILLS HIMSELF, after which KILO retrieves CHANG'S CHIP.

JULES MERIT

Scientists these days. Couldn't find their medulla oblongata with a gun.

JULES MERIT

Got the chip? Come on, we'll escape by hijacking a train and causing general mayhem.

KILO enters a MAINTENANCE AREA, where he has to REDIRECT ELEVATORS by BREACHING THEM.

MILES KILO

You might think this is an environmental puzzle, but as long as I only have to look around for the one thing to breach whenever my progress is halted, it's just a quicktime event.

Eventually, KILO meets up with MERIT at the TRAIN STATION. As MERIT approaches the TRAIN, he is KNOCKED OUT by ASPARI AGENT TATSUO.

AGENT TATSUO

BOSS FIGHT!

MILES KILO

Hey, there's this little robot flying around that drops weapons when breached, which is basically admitting that this boss fight will be one big grindfest.

AGENT TATSUO

Not quite yet! Here's five duplicates of me!

(multiplies somehow)

MILES KILO

OH COME ON!

KILO kills ALL THE TATSUOS and boards the TRAIN with MERIT.

JULES MERIT

Remember the part where I said civilian casualties were a non-issue? Now watch me senselessly execute every single passenger on this train. Evil, no?

They HIJACK the TRAIN and head back to the EUROCORP HQ after SHOOTING more STUFF.

EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - NEW YORK

KILO and MERIT are on a ROOF overlooking DRAWL'S APARTMENT.

JULES MERIT

Denham wants us to keep an eye on Drawl. But since surveillance isn't really a mission objective that suits a shooter, you can be sure something will happen in the next --

A TEAM OF SOLDIERS FROM RIVAL SYNDICATE CAYMAN GLOBAL led by AGENT RAMON breaks into DRAWL'S APARTMENT.

JULES MERIT

Oh no, a covert extraction team is kidnapping her!

MILES KILO

What's so covert about this? Six gun-toting soldiers just blew up her front door and now an entire army of them is swarming into the apartment block to needlessly kill all other tenants.

JULES MERIT

Men after my own heart. Now go after her!

KILO enters the APARTMENT BUILDING and chases RAMON, who takes DRAWL aboard a DROPSHIP. KILO hitches a RIDE.

EXT. CAYMAN GLOBAL HQ - ATLANTIC OCEAN

KILO jumps off the DROPSHIP and enters CAYMAN GLOBAL HQ.

DART 6 CHIP

Kilo, it looks like Cayman Global is preparing to invade Eurocorp.

MILES KILO

A real "hostile takeover", am I right?

DART 6 CHIP

Hey-oooooo!

He finds RAMON, who shoves him off a BALCONY.

AGENT RAMON

Time for another boss fight!

MILES KILO

Ooh, I've lost all my weapons! Maybe there'll be some actual strategy involved in this one.

RAMON fires ROCKETS at KILO, but he BREACHES them MID-FLIGHT to DIRECT THEM BACK.

AGENT RAMON

Even though your only offensive capability is breaching and I have an assault rifle right here, I'm going to keep firing rockets!

MILES KILO

Or put more emphasis on both your stupidity and the fact that breaching amounts to no more than quicktime events. That's fine too.

Eventually, KILO kills RAMON and finds DRAWL.

LILY DRAWL

Come on, I'll fly us back to New York in this dropship, which is a thing I can do apparently.

EXT. DOWNZONE - NEW YORK

DRAWL sets down the DROPSHIP in the SLUMS of NEW YORK.

LILY DRAWL

Okay, let's contrive a way to get separated. Here, give me a boost to the upper level that you can't reach on your own.

That HAPPENS. KILO is then attacked by UNCHIPPED PEOPLE calling themselves SUBVERTERS. KILO fights his way past them and learns that their LEADER, KRIS DELANEY, is working together with DRAWL.

KRIS DELANEY

Yes, I tricked the syndicates into war by helping Drawl leak the DART 6 chip data to Chang bwa ha ha!

MILES KILO

So your response to being victimised by the syndicate wars is to instigate more of them?

KRIS DELANEY

Does it even matter? This is just the same generic struggle between dehumanised and soulless corporations and a disenfranchised lower class that's dirty but free.

MILES KILO

Well, at least you get a point for not calling yourselves "the Resistance."

KRIS DELANEY

Your reliance on technology has made you less than human! Now watch me take a giant shit all over my belief system by relying on EMP grenades and a cloaking system to fight you!

KILO manages to KILL DELANEY, after which he finds DRAWL. He puts a GUN to her HEAD.

LILY DRAWL

Are you going to kill me or spare me?

MILES KILO

Whoa, an actual moral choice?

LILY DRAWL

Not really, since whatever you end up choosing, both options have the same outcome.

MILES KILO

Oh for fuck's sake.

An EXPLOSION then knocks out both KILO and DRAWL. MERIT appears and takes them back to the EUROCORP HQ.

INT. EUROCORP HQ - NEW YORK

KILO'S CHIP is FAILING for NO REAL REASON, so DENHAM sends him AWAY to be REBOOTED. A FLASHBACK then shows how DENHAM killed KILO'S PARENTS and KIDNAPPED him when he was a CHILD. KILO escapes and finds DRAWL.

MILES KILO

I just saw what looked like me kidnapping myself when I was a creepy-looking kid with too much Phong shading.

LILY DRAWL

That's how Denham gets all his best agents. Might've been a proper plot twist if it hadn't already been given away by the trailer. Like everything else really.

MILES KILO

So I was taken away from my parents because my particular genetic makeup suited an experiment that melds flesh with technology. If this game wanted to differentiate itself from Deus Ex: Human Revolution, why do I have the exact same backstory as Adam Jensen?

LILY DRAWL

I meant to humanise the syndicates with my chip design. I never wanted this.

MILES KILO

A slight variation on Jensen's memetic line isn't helping.

LILY DRAWL

Now get in the Vitruvian, Kilo. It will repair your body.

MILES KILO

And neither is this Da Vinci leitmotif!

KILO climbs inside the VITRUVIAN, which looks like it's designed to QUARTER HIM.

LILY DRAWL

And hey, the next chapter is apparently called "I am not a machine!" And Denham has activated your killswitch!

MILES KILO

Seriously, I think I just got Deus Ex Bingo.

After KILO is HEALED by the VITRUVIAN, he and DRAWL head up to DENHAM'S OFFICE.

LILY DRAWL

Hey, go into that room over there and push the button inside it. I swear it's not another contrived way to separate us.

He DOES, and it TOTALLY IS. CAYMAN GLOBAL then begins its ATTACK on EUROCORP. EVERYBODY starts SHOOTING at EVERYBODY ELSE.

DART 6 CHIP

Sick and tired of constantly hearing gunfire? Well, I've just breached this flying turret so it'll buzz around your ears whilst constantly firing!

Right outside DENHAM'S OFFICE, KILO encounters MERIT in a BATTLE SUIT accompanied by TWO CHARACTERS FROM THE CO-OP CAMPAIGN.

JULES MERIT

You're fired! At. With a gun. By me.

MILES KILO

Really stretching the morbid double entendres of corporate speak, aren't you?

JULES MERIT

Whatever. Here, fight these two nameless chicks who'll keep reviving each other!

MILES KILO

Now I truly know the frustration felt by enemies in co-op games.

KILO GRINDS the NAMELESS CHICKS to DEATH and destroys MERIT'S BATTLE SUIT.

JULES MERIT

Time for a quicktime melee battle then! Press E, motherfucker!

As KILO is BEATING MERIT to DEATH, a quick THIRD-PERSON CUTSCENE shows both their EYES are WHITED OUT, which means they're both being MIND-CONTROLLED.

MILES KILO

Whoa, that five-second cutscene was absolutely worth breaking the unity of perspective for!

JULES MERIT

And it only served to visually point out that we are just proxies for Denham and Drawl! I'm sure this sleek corporate highrise made entirely out of glass didn't have one reflective surface that could've been used to demonstrate that you're just as much a puppet as I am!

(dies)

As KILO'S CHIP starts SHUTTING DOWN, he approaches DENHAM, who is standing on a PLATFORM suspended over a PRECIPITOUS DROP GEE I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN.

JACK DENHAM

Why are you doing this, Kilo? I took you away from those dregs you called parents and gave you a better life!

MILES KILO

Maybe don't open your rationalisation with calling my parents dregs.

JACK DENHAM

It doesn't matter. I'm just going to rebuild all this on top of your rotting corpse. So I guess I win! Hah!

KILO BLACKS OUT, hammers out a QUICKTIME EVENT and is suddenly FACING DENHAM.

JACK DENHAM

Whoa, what the fuck just happened? I had you on your knees, I was monologuing, then I blink and you're suddenly right in front of me!

MILES KILO

And since your infobank profile lists you as being chipped and highly capable for your age, I'm guessing the budget for quicktime melee battles ran out after Merit.

JACK DENHAM

Such a shame.

DENHAM isn't PUSHED OFF THE PLATFORM as much as he MAKES HIMSELF FALL out of SHEER APATHY. DRAWL appears.

LILY DRAWL

You're free, Kilo! Here's a pistol. Now I'm going to turn my back on you while freely admitting that I lied about that killswitch and mind-controlled you into doing all this.

MILES KILO

So this is like BioShock's famous plot twist, except it doesn't serve as a deconstruction of this game's utterly linear gameplay and is the poorer for it.

LILY DRAWL

It's just a convenient way to create the moral ambiguity that is otherwise lacking from a story where everyone is evil.

MILES KILO

That actually makes things worse, you know? The original Syndicate revelled in making its protagonist an irredeemable villain. Turning me into a good guy finding his humanity just makes it campy.

PUBLISHER ELECTRONIC ARTS

Hey, at least it's a topical and relevant issue in this age of financial collapse!

MILES KILO

Please, corporate corruption is so nineties. If you wanted to make this topical and relevant, you should've used investment bankers and government bailouts instead.

PUBLISHER ELECTRONIC ARTS

Capital idea!

(into phone)

Jerry, do we still have a license lying around that we can reboot? System Shock? Excellent, that title is perfect! We'll turn it into a shooter and make the bad guy a mortgage underwriter who's named S. Hodan!

MILES KILO

Dear God, what have I done?

KILO uses the SUICIDE APP on HIMSELF.

THE END