FADE IN:

EXT. THE WILD WEST - 1911

Not unlike NIKO BELLIC, JOHN MARSTON steps off a BOAT and into a SANDBOX GAME. Handcuffed, he is ESCORTED by EDGAR ROSS and ARCHER FORDHAM, who represent CORRUPTION IN GOVERNMENT and load MARSTON onto a TRAIN. All the PASSENGERS start DELIVERING WORLD-BUILDING EXPOSITION.

OLD LADY #1

Deary me, things really are a-changin' in this here Wild West!

OLD LADY #2

Oh yes! I'm mighty reminded of that moviefilm what ain't been made yet, Sam Peckinpah's The Wild Bunch.

OLD LADY #1

Because this landscape and the folk that live in it are representative of how martial law and rural living must eventually give way to federal governments and big society, despite the fact that those systems are inherently problematic?

OLD LADY #2

Yes.

A PRIEST is also on the TRAIN, talking to a YOUNG WOMAN.

PRIEST

Now see, as the good book says: "I'm a symbol of turn-of-the-century theism and superstition, which is why I'm going to laugh at you when you mention the invention of the aeroplane."

YOUNG WOMAN

Is that right? Because I'm emblematic of naïve optimism. My excitement about new technology is representative of how Americans in the 20th century replaced God with capitalism and material possessions, and how abandoning the Good Old Ways so readily was arguably misguided.

PRIEST

(stares)

YOUNG WOMAN

Say, did you hear about this new-fangled new aeroplane?

PRIEST

(laughs)

Eventually, MARSTON alights the TRAIN in THE TOWN OF ARMADILLO.

JOHN MARSTON

That train ride sure set the tone for a death-of-the-Western drama which will explore the foundations of modern American financial and social institutions, as well as pose questions of individuality versus conformity. I wonder what I'll do now?

MARSTON immediately draws his PISTOL and kills AT LEAST 800 PEOPLE. He then uploads the FOOTAGE to YOUTUBE. Nobody seems to CARE.

INT. SALOON - ARMADILLO

MARSTON enters a SALOON.

DRUNK MAN

Ye-arh, I'm just sitting in this here broth-eel geddin' drunk and bein' a guy from a Western.

A MAN approaches MARSTON and WHISPERS IN HIS EAR. He is MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Psst, you need to talk to that guy.

JOHN MARSTON

Is he the mission feller?

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

If by "mission feller" you mean "story feller," then yes.

JOHN MARSTON

Hey. I'm here to kill Bill Williamson.

DRUNK MAN

Howdy pardner! Well alright then!

EXT. WILLIAMSON'S FORT - ARMADILLO

MARSTON and the DRUNK MAN mount HORSES and ride to BILL WILLIAMSON'S FORT. Despite the NARRATIVE being COMPLETELY AT ODDS with the GAME so far, the scenery is AMAZING.

DRUNK MAN

Good luck, Mr. Marston! No matter what happens, remember that nothing in this scene will inform the mechanics later on!

JOHN MARSTON

What?

The DRUNK MAN rides away. WILLIAMSON and TWO BANDITS appear on THE WALL OF THE FORT. MARSTON goes for his GUN but because it is a CUTSCENE, he is COMPLETELY OUTCLASSED AND INSTANTLY SHOT DOWN.

JOHN MARSTON

Ten minutes ago I was able to kill a billion people and get shot a billion times and it was all cool. I don't understand.

(beat)

Eh, I'll forgive the inconsistency because what is this, a book?

(fades out of consciousness)

A WOMAN makes the mistake of entering a ROCKSTAR GAME. She loads MARSTON onto a CART. No wait, she needs a MAN to do it.

EXT. MACFARLANE RANCH - ARMADILLO

MARSTON is lying on a BED. Maybe he's just finished MASTURBATING, we don't know. The WOMAN walks in. Her name is BONNIE MACFARLANE.

BONNIE MACFARLANE

I don't want you to stay here any longer than you have to.

JOHN MARSTON

Huh?

BONNIE MACFARLAINE

It's nothing personal. I just don't like having your "friend" around.

She points to the CORNER OF THE ROOM. MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER is sat there, thumbing through a PORN MAG and not understanding how to WRITE WOMEN.

BONNIE MACFARLANE

So just get better and get the fuck off my farm.

MARSTON looks at MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Ma'am.

JOHN MARSTON

Ma'am.

BONNIE MACFARLANE

Ugh. Call me Bonnie.

MARSTON performs VARIOUS TASKS associated with RANCHING. They are intended to INGRATIATE THE WORLD TO HIM and ACCLIMATISE HIM to the idea that there is MORE DEPTH TO THE FICTION AND CHARACTERS than can be explored through MISSIONS WHICH MERELY INVOLVE KILLING, but MARSTON doesn't notice because he is too busy POSTING ON GAMEFAQS ABOUT HOW HAVING TO HERD COWS IS FUCKING GAY.

INT. SHERIFF'S OFFICE - ARMADILLO

MARSTON visits the office of MARSHALL JOHNSON.

JOHN MARSTON

I just need ta' kill Bill Williamson so I can get ma' family back.

MARSHALL JOHNSON

Yessir. We gotta kill that Bill Williamson. He's tearin' up the county and makin' life hell for these small town folks what I sworn to protect. For your benefit and mine, we better get right to it.

Instead, MARSTON spends six days of in-game time PICKING FLOWERS. He then rides to an AREA OF THE MAP he has never been to and has NO CAUSE TO VISIT. When he gets there, he inexplicably meets a STRANGER who needs a FAVOUR.

STRANGER

It was good of you to ride all the way out here and come talk to me, even though you had zero incentive to do so. I have a task for you that is in no way related to your character arc or your motivation.

JOHN MARSTON

I'm in.

STRANGER

Baller. Collect twenty animal pelts and flowers and whatever the fuck, then bring them back here.

For SOME FUCKING REASON, MARSTON completes this TASK and then WASTES EVEN MORE IN-GAME TIME on ASSORTED AMBIENT BOLLOCKS.

CUT TO:

EXT. WILLIAMSON'S FORT - ARMADILLO

BILL WILLIAMSON is sat still, looking at his WATCH, waiting for THE STORY TO ARRIVE. He has a look of SADNESS on his face, the look of a character who is ACUTELY AWARE that since MARSTON can choose to spend time PICKING FLOWERS, HUNTING ANIMALS and KILLIN' FOLKS, the momentum of THE STORY is completely BUGGERED. WILLIAMSON knows that his motivation means SHIT compared to MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER'S DESIRE to make games that satisfy people's POISONOUS OBSESSION WITH CONTENT.

WILLIAMSON looks up from his WATCH. The scenery really is AMAZING.

CUT TO:

EXT. HILLSIDE - ARMADILLO

A PORTLY ENGLISH GENTLEMAN is lying all fucked up at the SIDE OF THE ROAD. His name is NIGEL WEST DICKENS and he is ANNOYING.

NIGEL WEST DICKENS

Good sir! Can you give me a ride back to town? I was selling fake remedies and snake oil to a bunch of locals and they were all "This is bullshit" and shot me the hell up.

JOHN MARSTON

Hop in.

NIGEL WEST DICKENS

Also, they're still attacking. At least a hundred of them. I know that seems like an inexplicably large amount of people, almost like they're here just to pad out this pretty rote driving section, but --

MARSTON kills EEEEERBODY, after which they make it BACK INTO TOWN.

NIGEL WEST DICKENS

Thanks. I'll go see the doctor and have an argument about the merits of my remedies versus his actual medical science, again symbolising the turn-of-the-century tension between tradition and progress.

JOHN MARSTON

(stares, waits)

NIGEL WEST DICKENS

Oh, yes, sorry. Pip pip, what ho, I am an Englishman! The King! Long words! Waistcoats!

MARSTON nods and rides off, SERIOUSLY GLAD THAT'S OVER. He then has to DOUBLE BACK for A BILLION FUCKING MISSIONS involving WEST DICKENS, each more TEDIOUS than the last and all orientated around COLLECTING SUPPLIES FOR A RAID ON WILLIAMSON'S FORT, none of which are really NECESSARY because MARSTON is perfectly capable of ANNIHILATING EVERYBODY with just a PISTOL. Unless it's a CUTSCENE.

EXT. ABANDONED TOWN OF TUMBLEWEED

BONNIE MACFARLANE is kidnapped and almost HANGED, but MARSTON shows up and SAVES HER by KILLING EVERYBODY WHO'S NOT HER.

JOHN MARSTON

I gotcha, Miss MacFarlane.

BONNIE MACFARLANE

Yeah, cheers. You best go save your wife now as well, right?

JOHN MARSTON

She is a woman after all!

BONNIE MACFARLANE

Yeah. I mean fine, it's okay to place female characters in peril if they're properly established AS characters and the peril seems reasonable, i.e. it's peril that the woman character has somehow gotten into because of her own actions, but I can't help feeling that everything that happened just now, and the whole save-your-wife thing, is just so you, John Marston, can seem more complex and conflicted and shit. Like we're just devices used to characterise YOU rather than being given any proper narrative arcs ourselves. You see what I mean?

JOHN MARSTON

Nope.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Nnnnnope.

BONNIE MACFARLANE

Well, maybe you'll get it after you see GTA V.

NOPE.

EXT. WILLIAMSON'S FORT - ARMADILLO

MARSTON, MARSHALL JOHNSON, WEST DICKENS and SOME GUY WHO BANGS CORPSES are all waiting to launch their ATTACK.

MARSHALL JOHNSON

Okay boys, here's the plan. We're gonna roll up with this here Gatling gun and the guy who bangs corpses is gonna keep everyone distracted while West Dickens smuggles it inside. John, you'll be sat manning that sumbitch and when West Dickens gives the signal, you'll kick the door open and let rip. Now, there will probably be more guys in there than seems physically possible, especially considering that if you look around the fort there are only like five beds or some shit. So be ready!

JOHN MARSTON

I just need Williamson.

MARSHALL JOHNSON

Huh. How long have you been playing?

JOHN MARSTON

About ten hours?

MARSHALL JOHNSON

Yeah. He definitely won't be there. This needs to be at least thirty hours or else consumers will be all pissy.

JOHN MARSTON

(hangs head)

MARSHALL JOHNSON

Okay, let's do this bitch!

INT. WILLIAMSON'S FORT - ARMADILLO

MARSTON opens up with the GATLING GUN. Dozens of people DIE, etc. etc. To the surprise of ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOBODY, WILLIAMSON isn't there.

JOHN MARSTON

I bet he's gone to Mexico.

NIGEL WEST DICKENS

Why?

JOHN MARSTON

It's on my map but I haven't been able to get there yet.

NIGEL WEST DICKENS

I'll get an Irish stereotype to take you there. His name is actually "Irish."

JOHN MARSTON

Pimp.

EXT. RIVER CROSSING

IRISH, a drunk, bearded, swearing, sort of religious, shambolic, fornicating, double-crossing MOTHERFUCKER lifted straight from a NINETEENTH-CENTURY NEW YORKER STRIP, is ferrying MARSTON across a RIVER that separates AMERICA from MEXICO.

IRISH

So, de' last toime I wass in Mexicoo, I sorta put me dick in some gal what I wasn' sposed ta'.

JOHN MARSTON

Is that right?

IRISH

Aye, tis, tis. Did I mention by tha wee that I loik ta drink visskey and be a bit Cat'lic 'n' sing drinkin' sangs.

JOHN MARSTON

Do elaborate.

IRISH

Ah roit. Well, y'see, ahm an Irish feller, which means ah loik ta get piss'd up 'n' fuck aboout. I also loik ta -- atshully vould ya hold 'dis a second?

(hands over pot of gold)

Jeers. As ah was sayin', I'm roit fuckin' Irish, like dat Brad Pitt in Snatch.

JOHN MARSTON

Uh-huh.

IRISH

An' las' toime I was in Maxicoo ah moight a' focked somebody what ah shudn't aff, which means 'dat in a second aboot a million Maxicans are gonna start shoodin' at us.

JOHN MARSTON

Hang on. So, last time you were in Mexico, which let's not forget is an enormous country, you had sex with somebody and that angered someone else, and now, because of that, there are people waiting on the other side of this river, on the Mexican border, just in case you one day get on a boat and try to come back? Are you actually telling me that all of these people, who I can now see getting ready to shoot at us from the other side, have been here, waiting, on the off-chance you, this one guy who a few years ago had sex with someone, turn up on the river? You're saying this entire country somehow has a collective grudge against you because of a vaguely embarrassing infraction from ages ago, to the point where armed men wait day and night by the river, or at least have set up some kind of signalling system to alert them instantly of your return, because they want to kill you. THAT'S what you're telling me.

IRISH

(stares)

JOHN MARSTON

Because that seems incredibly contrived. I mean, forgive my cynicism, but it feels like that whole, elaborate, implausible story is just a thin pretense used to contextualise this upcoming and superfluous gunfight. It's like we wanted to do a sedate, tranquil, reflective scene wherein I cross the river to Mexico, but were worried that people playing the game would be too stupid or childish to tolerate it. So we had to shoehorn in some action. However, at the same time, we resented having to do that, resented having to spoil this scene with a stupid gunfight, so tried to balance it with a bit of story. It's almost like, I dunno, the people making this game often have good intentions and could arguably be credited with pushing games in new directions, but their abilities and aspirations are constantly tempered by either the myopic expectations of their audience, or their own patronising, narrow ideas of what their audience wants. What do you think, Irish?

IRISH

Whad' was that laddy? I was geddin' drunk and shoodin' at peeple.

In despair, MARSTON tries to KILL HIMSELF by putting his GUN in his MOUTH and PULLING THE TRIGGER, but this isn't a CUTSCENE so all that happens is a bit of his HEALTH disappears. However, the BULLET does manage to strike THE PART OF MARSTON'S BRAIN that had brought him to his SUDDEN MOMENT OF CLARITY just now. With it destroyed, he is no longer aware of the NARRATIVE INCONSISTENCIES INHERENT TO HIS CURRENT SITUATION, NOR THE TROUBLED STATE OF MAINSTREAM GAME CULTURE.

LUCKY HIM.

EXT. RIVERBANK - MEXICO

After KILLING LOTS OF BLAH BLAH FUCKING HELL, MARSTON and IRISH part ways.

IRISH

Good luck in Maxicoo Jahn! I'm aff back ta' America!

JOHN MARSTON

(waves)

IRISH

Ah yes, 'am Irish, 'am Irish, 'am Irish, 'am really bloody Irish.

As IRISH' VOICE fades in the DISTANCE, MARSTON mounts a HORSE that is waiting for him on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RIVER for NO FUCKING REASON. He rides into MEXICO listening to "FAR AWAY" by JOSE GONZALEZ on his IPOD SHUFFLE.

EXT. TOWN - MEXICO

MARSTON arrives in a TOWN and immediately kills THREE MEXICANS. For a change, someone walks up and actually GIVES A SHIT. His name is LANDON RICKETTS. He is an OLD COWBOY who is basically WILD BILL HICKOK, but just to SHAKE SHIT UP, let's assume he comes from a DIFFERENT GALAXY.

LANDON RICKETTS

Greetings Earthling. I mean, howdy pardner. You've been in --

(looks at holographic wristwatch)

"Mexico" less than five minutes, and already you've killed three people.

JOHN MARSTON

A million actually, if you count those fucks on the riverbank.

LANDON RICKETTS

So you think you're some kind of hot shit?

JOHN MARSTON

(checks his kill tally)

Yeah.

LANDON RICKETTS

Boy, you couldn't hit a Zuthian battlestar with a Paraglax triple-gun! You need schooling.

RICKETTS decides to TEACH MARSTON how to shoot a GUN, which is COMPLETELY FUCKING REDUNDANT AND ABSURD because after playing for about TWELVE HOURS and killing ENTIRE ANCESTRAL GENERATIONS OF PEOPLE, it's obvious that MARSTON knows how to shoot PRETTY BLOODY WELL.

INT. BAR - MEXICO

After all that USELESS STUFF, RICKETTS takes MARSTON to a BAR.

LANDON RICKETTS

Okay, so there are three different types of Mexican.

JOHN MARSTON

(takes out notebook and pen)

LANDON RICKETTS

First there's the government and they're shady as fuck. I hope you bought a lot of bullets because you'll be killing these guys like G-Unit killed hip-hop.

MARSTON thumbs to his HORSE, which is LYING ON THE GROUND, unable to stand due to the MASSIVE SACKS OF AMMO tied to it.

LANDON RICKETTS

Tits. Okay, so then there's the rebels, led by Abraham Reyes. We're doing something interesting here. Whereas you'd normally expect the rebels to be all noble and plucky and good and shit, here they're going to be, brace yourself, just as bad as the government. So when you overthrow the government and install the rebels, there'll be a cutscene where the rebel leader talks about all the shit he's gonna do now that he's in charge, and you'll be left questioning whether what you did has really helped. I say questioning, but you'll know full well it hasn't.

JOHN MARSTON

That's deep, man. Videogames have come a long way!

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER gives a NOD OF APPROVAL. The BARTENDER then decides to CHIME IN.

BARTENDER

Hey, couldn't help overhearing your conversation and thought I should point something out.

JOHN MARSTON

...

BARTENDER

Yeah so, the crux of the story so far, the crux of the story in general, is the tension between the old-fashioned, homegrown frontier ways and the expansion of the federal government in America. Now, we haven't quite got there yet, but I know for a fact that later on, Fordham and Ross, those two fed guys from the intro, are going to be cast very firmly as villains. They'll be sneaky and violent. John, I think they'll probably shoot you.

JOHN MARSTON

Probably.

BARTENDER

Yeah. And at the same time, the sort of frontier, old ways characters, the "rebels" against this new system if you will, are all lovable rogues. People like you, John, and that wacky British guy, and Landon actually, who's kind of avuncular and Clint Eastwood-y. And if we look at some of the other games like this one, say Grand Theft Auto, they're about punkish rebellion and crime being cool. There's an implied nobility in anti-establishment behaviour.

JOHN MARSTON

Yeah?

BARTENDER

So in this game, and others like it, it seems like you're saying that rebellion and revolution is cool and noble if it's being done by white people against white governments, but animalistic and venal and bad if it's being done by coloured people. See, the white rebellious characters are all sort of fun and justifiable in their own ways, whereas the Mexican rebel, Reyes, turns out to be just as crooked as the Mexican he overthrows. See what I'm saying? It's like a hypocrisy, like you're drawing a line between white and coloured, and saying it's okay if white people do it because they're inherently civilised and rebellious for the right reasons, whereas people of colour are just hungry for power and savage and corruptible. Stupid, if you like, less civil. I mean, I might be nitpicking there, but do you see what I'm saying? The narrative here implies that people of colour create their own problems through their own lack of virtue and are unable to solve them of their own accord, because of that same lack of virtue.

There is a LONG BEAT while MARSTON, RICKETTS and ALL THE OTHER PATRONS reflect on whether VIDEOGAMES really are worth FORTY QUID EACH.

BARTENDER

Sorry. I'll let you get back to it. Have a good evening.

LANDON RICKETTS

Now as I was saying, there are three types of --

BARTENDER

Although!

LANDON RICKETTS

(hangs head)

BARTENDER

I mean, John, you're here to find some guy that'll get you your family back, right?

JOHN MARSTON

Yeah.

BARTENDER

And the two sides in this civil war each have information about where he is, right?

JOHN MARSTON

Do they?

LANDON RICKETTS

I was getting to that. Yeah, they do.

BARTENDER

Ah okay see, that's interesting. Because what's going to happen is you're going to play the two sides against each other to get what you want. So, there's this white American, stoking and prolonging a civil war in a foreign country in order to benefit himself personally. It's a bit like the Soviet-Afghan war or the Bay of Pigs or Nicaragua. It's almost as if the narrative is implying that as well as domestic problems, America in its modern form is riddled with issues around foreign policy. It simply enters overseas wars, exacerbates the conflict and gets many more people killed in order to gain either political, geographical or financial leverage. You see John, YOU are America in this instant. You're stirring up this conflict without any regard for the people actually affected by it, only thinking of how its continuation can help YOU. That's interesting.

JOHN MARSTON

That is interesting. Maybe this game isn't as stupid as one might think.

EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM turns to look at the CAMERA with RAISED EYEBROWS. The BARTENDER then gets back to WIPING GLASSES.

LANDON RICKETTS

Aaaand then there are the Mexican civilians. Like in America you can just kill them as much as you want, get arrested for a few days, then carry on, scot-free.

JOHN MARSTON

Yeeeee-haw!

MARSTON starts SHOOTING UP THE BAR. LANDON joins in with a PULSE RIFLE, which blows a HOLE in the side of the WALL.

EXT. ESCALERA - MEXICO

MARSTON arrives in the town of ESCALERA, where some MEXICAN SOLDIERS take him through the GATES to meet VINCENTE DE SANTA, the NUMBER TWO MAN in the CURRENT REGIME.

VINCENTE DE SANTA

Welcome to Mexico, my man. Please, come through to the presidential palace, even though we don't know who you are and we're in the middle of a war.

DE SANTA sits down next to MARSTON and pours a couple of DRINKS.

VINCENTE DE SANTA

So what can we do for you, motherfucker?

JOHN MARSTON

I'm looking for a man called Bill Williamson. Apparently he's around here somewhere.

VINCENTE DE SANTA

Sorry brother, I don't know any Williamson.

DE SANTA quickly glances at a HEDGE. WILLIAMSON is crouching BEHIND IT. He looks at the CAMERA, WINKS and puts a FINGER to his LIPS to the sound of CANNED LAUGHTER, which abruptly CUTS OFF.

VINCENTE DE SANTA

But maybe we can find him after we win the war. You help us kill all these rebels.

(spits on the ground)

And we'll see what we can do.

A YOUNG WAITER comes over and puts TWO MORE DRINKS on the TABLE. DE SANTA gazes idly at his ARSE as he walks off. This is because DE SANTA is GAY, which is a NICE TOUCH to add to his CHARACTER, especially since the GAME never makes much of a point about his SEXUALITY and treats him like the OTHER CHARACTERS, which is GOOD ALSO. This INTRODUCTION may well have put DE SANTA in a LEATHER CAP, WHITE VEST and CUT-OFF SHORTS though.

VINCENTE DE SANTA

(to himself dreamily)

Ah, I love having sex with men.

(back to Marston)

Okay, let's get to it.

They kill a bunch of PEOPLE near a TRAIN and then SOME MORE AMBIENT BOLLOCKS HAPPENS. MARSTON catches a few WANTED CRIMINALS, finds some PLANTS and helps someone BUILD A HANG GLIDER, none of which is conducive to his stated goal of REUNITING WITH HIS FAMILY. The GAME doesn't really seem to GIVE A FUCK about that by this point.

INT. REBEL STRONGHOLD - MEXICO

MARSTON enters a REBEL STRONGHOLD and finds the leader, ABRAHAM REYES, banging a WOMAN because GAMES are SERIOUS and ADULT and FUCKING -- FUCK OFF.

ABRAHAM REYES

Look at my animated arse!

WOMAN

And my physics-enabled tits!

ABRAHAM REYES

YEEEEES!

REYES climbs off the WOMAN.

JOHN MARSTON

Hey guys, I was just -- oh fuck, ergh!

ABRAHAM REYES

What? Have you never seen a fully modelled flaccid cock and balls before? You should take a look down your trousers from time to time, pal.

JOHN MARSTON

This is weird, like that bit in The Lost and the Damned DLC where the guy turns towards the camera and you see his dick full frontal for fucking no reason whatsoever.

REYES audibly ZIPS UP. The WOMAN leaves the ROOM.

We don't see it, but she returns HOME to her HUSBAND, her one true love, BENICIO. He knows she is only DOING WHAT SHE MUST to buy them FOOD, but it BREAKS HIM UP INSIDE. She is such a TALENTED WOMAN, a WORLD CLASS PIANIST, so full of LIFE AND INTELLIGENCE, reduced to PROSTITUTION just to pay for BREAD.

But after a FEW MORE MONTHS, the war finally ENDS and the couple are able to LEAVE TOGETHER TO MEXICO CITY. The WOMAN, whose name is BELLA, is free from the UNFORGIVING BRUTALITY OF POVERTY and able to start a NEW LIFE, playing PIANO around the country's greatest CONCERT HALLS. BENICIO has some DIFFICULT TIMES, he is in and out of WORK and never reconciles with his ESTRANGED FATHER, but the couple remain HOPELESSLY IN LOVE.

They eventually DIE TOGETHER, AGED 80, in their beloved MEXICO CITY. BELLA leaves behind a body of MUSICAL WORK that survives for CENTURIES, infused with the PAIN, TORMENT and OPTIMISM of those furious days on the NORTH-MEXICAN BORDER. In a way, her LIFE STORY comes to symbolise the struggles of EVERY DEVELOPING NATION: it isn't easy, but by WORKING TOGETHER and NEVER LOSING HOPE, people can and will MAKE IT.

But BEFORE ALL THAT HAPPENS, back at the REBEL STRONGHOLD.

ABRAHAM REYES

I love banging bitches man, she's hot as shit.

JOHN MARSTON

I didn't say anything but fuck yeah she is.

They HIGH-FIVE and then TIT AROUND for a while doing SOME BULLSHIT to help the REBEL CAUSE in MEXICO. Eventually, DE SANTA gets shot to BOLLOCKS along with some SOLDIERS and BODYGUARDS and PEDESTRIANS and ANIMALS. LANDON RICKETTS finally has it UP TO HERE and FUCKS OFF BACK TO HIS HOME PLANET.

INT. BAR - MEXICO

During a break from all this SUPER FUN, MARSTON meets GARY, who is kicking a PROSTITUTE round the back of a BAR.

JOHN MARSTON

Jesus Gary, stop that! You know we're not supposed to do that when people are watching.

GARY

What?

GARY can't hear MARSTON over the sound of his BOOT repeatedly hitting this WOMAN in the HEAD AND EYES AND MOUTH.

JOHN MARSTON

I said we're not supposed to do that! Not when people are watching!

GARY

Oh fuck! I didn't know!

From around the corner comes MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Guys, will you keep it down! We're trying to be proper art and shit out here. You know we've got people visiting today. I told you, no gratuitous violence against women until they leave.

GARY

Shit man I'm sorry. I completely forgot.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Ssssh! Shut the fuck up! Just get her out of here. I'll try and stall them.

GARY

John, you get her feet.

JOHN MARSTON

This isn't my problem, dude.

GARY

Are you serious? It's not like she's dead! She's just fuckin' passed out. No one is gonna know. Just fuckin' grab her man, Christ.

EXT. BAR - MEXICO

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER is gathered in front of a CROWD OF RESPONSIBLE ADULTS WHO ARE ACUTELY AWARE THAT VIDEOGAMES HAVE LONG MARGINALISED FEMALE CHARACTERS AND FAILED TO ENGAGE WITH OR MATURELY REPRESENT THE CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLENCE. Having seen some of the OTHER BULLSHIT the GAME has so far put on DISPLAY, this CROWD is one GRATUITOUS, INEXPLICABLE SCENE OF VIOLENCE OR SEXISM away from TWEETING BAD THINGS ABOUT ROCKSTAR.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

(Basil Fawlty impression)

Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen, just a small spanner in the works, mwaaarh! Now as I was saying, we've built an amazing sandbox world in this game and really tried to keep it in line with the actual geography of the American West. So you won't find any sports cars or helicopters around here. Ha ha ha! And over to your left there's a small bar, where you can of course find any kind of aperitif your hearts may desire. Vermouth, crème de menthe, Babycham, you name it, we'll open it up and pour it into a glass for you!

He LAUGHS DESPERATELY. Meanwhile, MARSTON and GARY appear in the background, carrying the UNCONSCIOUS PROSTITUTE GARY KICKED HALF TO DEATH between them. The crowd GASPS.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Yes, anything at all! Rum, vodka, Japanese sake. Have you ever tried sake, madam? Ugh! Wicked stuff. It'll take the roof of your mouth off faster than you can say "Pearl Harbour!"

MAN

She's dead!

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Well, slow down! Usually they have to drink it first, ha ha!

MAN

The woman behind you! She's dead!

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Woman behind me?

GARY and MARSTON are FROZEN, staring at the CROWD.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Oh no, ha ha! She's merely had too much sun. Isn't that right, Gary?

GARY

You said you'd keep them distracted while we moved the body!

MAN

Did he say body? She IS dead!

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

No no, please ladies and gentlemen.

MAN

That woman's dead! They've done it again! More violence against women used only as a way to characterise the harsh landscape! I knew we couldn't trust you!

The CROWD rumbles in agreement. GARY and MARSTON quickly RUN OFF, still carrying the UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Please, sir! She isn't dead, she's merely --

MAN

Merely what? Merely another prop in your silly little cowboy story for silly little boys? I'd say this is the worst service I've had from a videogame since -- since I don't know when!

WOMAN

I agree. It's absolutely appalling.

Another WOMAN shouts from OFF-SCREEN. She is MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER'S WIFE, CYBIL.

CYBIL

Daniel! What on Earth is going on?

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

So glad you asked, dear. These finepeople just had a few questions about the way we treat female characters and how we --

CYBIL

Yes, thank you Daniel, I'll handle this. Now what seems to be the matter?

MAN

We think you use women characters merely as objects to enhance the plot arcs of your male characters.

WOMAN

Yes. And there are several scenes of violence against women in this game which are purely for spectacle. It's just gratuitous.

CYBIL

Oh dear, that is a shame. Let me just see what we can do about that. Daniel!

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER has stripped to his VEST and is VISIBLY ANXIOUS. MARSTON and GARY have loaded the UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN into a LAUNDRY HAMPER, which is being carted away on a WAGON.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Yes dear?

CYBIL

Go and fetch these people the Undead Nightmare DLC package.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Oh but Cybil!

CYBIL

Daniel!

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Oh yes yes, alright. Here you go.

He hands everyone in the crowd a DLC PACKAGE where it's still basically THE WORLD OF RED DEAD REDEMPTION but now everyone is a ZOMBIE FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

(under his breath)

That should keep your traps shut for a while.

MAN

What was that?

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Oh nothing, nothing. Please do enjoy. We put zombies in it and everything.

WOMAN

Well I really don't see how --

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER starts to usher the CROWD away.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Yes, yes, I quite agree. Now if you don't mind, I have a game studio to run, thank you.

MAN

Now see here, you haven't heard the last of this!

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Yes, if you have any further thoughts, please do write them down and post them to the middle of the ocean, thank you.

The CROWD departs. Once again, MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER has managed to LIE AND CONNIVE his way out of SPARKING OUTRAGE. But he'll be back next week with more CRAZY ANTICS!

While all of this has been going on, the REVOLUTION has been WON by the REBELS and MARSTON has cornered BILL WILLIAMSON.

JOHN MARSTON

You're fucked.

BILL WILLIAMSON

Seems like.

JOHN MARSTON

Any last words?

BILL WILLIAMSON

Yeah I got some last words.

(flips double birds)

Suck my dick, bitcheeeees!

MARSTON shoots WILLIAMSON in the DICK and the bullet bounces off his ARSE BONE and comes out the top of his HEAD. He looks like a RIGHT IDIOT.

Then MARSTON grabs WILLIAMSON'S BODY by the ANKLE and drags him all the way back to AMERICA, where ARCHER FORDHAM and EDGAR ROSS are waiting with a FLATBED. He picks up the BODY and slam dunks that shit onto the CART.

JOHN MARSTON

Boosh! Come on now boys, family time, cough up.

EDGAR ROSS

Check your playtime, dickhead.

JOHN MARSTON

Twenty hou-- oh man!

EDGAR ROSS

Yeah, we need at least ten more hours of this. So your other old pal, Dutch van der Linde, is out there causing trouble and you have to go round that bitch up. His surname is Dutch, that's why is first name is too.

ARCHER FORDHAM

Like pronto.

EDGAR ROSS

He's in top bit of the map, with the snow and the proper town and stuff. The best bit, basically.

ARCHER FORDHAM

We're going there now, actually.

JOHN MARSTON

Can I get a lift?

EDGAR ROSS

Fuck no.

They ride off REALLY QUICKLY. MARSTON decides to WHISTLE and a HORSE suddenly appears, like some fucked-up version of THAT CARPENTERS SONG.

EXT. THE BEST PART OF RED DEAD REDEMPTION

MARSTON arrives in BLACKWATER, a burgeoning town with PAVED STREETS, BRICK HOUSES and a BROKEN DOWN CAR which he can't ever get in and is just there to FUCK WITH HIS HEAD.

After getting shitfaced in the SALOON and refusing to BANG A PROSTITUTE, because, despite all the BILLIONS OF PEOPLE HE'S KILLED, he's still a COOL GUY, MARSTON heads to the house of PROFESSOR HAROLD MACDOUGAL, an interminable, one-note character whose eccentric shtick becomes tiresome before it even fucking starts.

INT. MACDOUGAL'S HOUSE - BLACKWATER

MACDOUGAL looks up after RAILING A LINE OF COCAINE.

HAROLD MACDOUGAL

I am a man of science, sir!

JOHN MARSTON

Oh fuck me.

HAROLD MACDOUGAL

This is my assistant, Nastas.

NASTAS is a NATIVE AMERICAN MAN whom MACDOUGAL consistently treats like SHIT. Although actually, the way ROCKSTAR handles the relationship between these CHARACTERS is genuinely ADULT. MACDOUGAL is patronising and deluded and claims to be investigating the "SAVAGE BRAIN" whereas NASTAS is rational and friendly and basically just A GUY. This is one of the rare occasions that ROCKSTAR seems to actually give a fuck about ANYONE WHO ISN'T WHITE.

NASTAS

I have information about the location of Dutch van der Linde.

Unfortunately, after a couple of MISSIONS and a few scenes with MACDOUGAL, which really are pretty good, NASTAS is shot in the FACE.

INT. BANK - BLACKWATER

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE, who looks so much like POWERS BOOTHE IN DEADWOOD it's fucking UNREAL, is robbing a BANK and has a WOMAN HOSTAGE.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Long time no see, John.

JOHN MARSTON

Long time no see, Dutch.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Long time no see. John.

JOHN MARSTON

Long time no see. Dutch.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Long. Time. No. See. John.

JOHN MARSTON

Long. Time no. See.

This goes on for a WHILE as the CAMERA moves in for CLOSE-UPS until CRICKETS can be heard outside, signalling that HOURS HAVE PASSED and it's now NIGHTTIME.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Trying to uphold the law, are we? Joining this glorious new system of ours?

JOHN MARSTON

They've got my wife and son.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Your wife? You know I banged her, right? Banged your son and all.

JOHN MARSTON

You banged everyone, Dutch. But that's in the past now. The future's coming. It's not going to be the present much longer.

MARSTON pulls his GUN and is about to shoot DUTCH right in his MOUSTACHE because that went GREAT for him in the LAST CUTSCENE where he tried that.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Did I tell you about the time I banged Nas from Mobb Deep?

JOHN MARSTON

What?

DUTCH uses this moment of HESITATION to cut the THROAT of the WOMAN he's holding, obviously, because she doesn't have a COCK AND/OR BALLS and therefore has to DIE, and RUN OUT OF THE BANK. MARSTON thinks about CHASING HIM but is essentially VERY LAZY, so fucks it off.

EDGAR ROSS

We've tracked van der Linde to this camp in the woods where he's training an army of people who are majorly pissed off about the future and the federal government. You can find him there.

ARCHER FORDHAM

But be careful. He's armed -- with rhetoric. As his former friend, and someone with an axe to grind with us feds, you might be seduced by or at least sympathetic to his cause.

EXT. DUTCH'S CAMP - BLACKWATER

MARSTON climbs a MOUNTAIN overlooking DUTCH'S CAMP, where he sits spying on him with a PAIR OF BINOCULARS. Despite the masses of IMPLAUSIBLE BOLLOCKS so far, nothing compares to WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. DUTCH not only spots MARSTON from a GOOD HALF MILE AWAY, but takes out his GUN and manages to SHOOT MARSTON DIRECTLY IN THE BINOCULARS, knocking him out and making him look like a TIT. It's REALLY FUNNY.

INT. MACDOUGAL'S HOUSE - BLACKWATER

MARSTON turns up with a BINOCULARS-SHAPED MARK on his FOREHEAD.

HAROLD MACDOUGAL

John, I think you've taken my ideas about trying to "see into the mind" too literally.

Right before MARSTON gets a chance to KILL MACDOUGAL WITH HIS OWN BONG, DUTCH turns up OUTSIDE.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

I've come to kill you, John! And that guy in there with you! Gonna kill you both, just for kicks.

JOHN MARSTON

Not if I kill you first!

MARSTON and MACDOUGAL fucking BLAZE OUT OF THERE like a couple of BASTARDS FROM THE STAR SYSTEM BIG BALLS. They shoot their way OUT OF TOWN and jump on a couple of HORSES.

HAROLD MACDOUGAL

I'm sick of this. I'm going back to the one place where it's acceptable to lie around smoking drugs all day and pontificate about shit I don't understand. University!

MACDOUGAL gets on the TRAIN and ENROLLS IN A UNIVERSITY. Years later, he is hit with MASSIVE LOAN REPAYMENTS and the realisation that his EDUCATION isn't worth anything on the OPEN JOB MARKET.

INT. EDGAR ROSS' OFFICE - BLACKWATER

MARSTON heads back to ROSS and FORDHAM.

EDGAR ROSS

Alright John. It's time to repay your debt to society. We're gonna bring in van der Linde today.

JOHN MARSTON

And that'll be it? I can go back to my family?

EDGAR ROSS

Sure thing.

FORDHAM SNIGGERS. ROSS can't help SNIGGERING TOO.

JOHN MARSTON

You know, ever since you sent me on this job, I've killed about a trillion people, yeah? I mean, if this was a way to get back at me for all the shit I did when I was in van der Linde's gang, you've shot yourselves in the foot, because I've been going fucking mental out there.

EDGAR ROSS

We're bringing order to this territory, John.

JOHN MARSTON

Yeah but you're not. Your plot is fundamentally contradictory. You can't tell me you're bringing order by sending me out into the wild when you know that I'm inherently mischievous. I'm a murderer. How is that bringing order to anything?

That BARTENDER from MEXICO suddenly turns up INEXPLICABLY.

BARTENDER

Maybe that's the point!

JOHN MARSTON

Not this guy again.

BARTENDER

Maybe by setting you loose, John, this game is exploring how aggressive law enforcement from the federal level is ineffective and concerned more with appearances of order than meaningful results.

JOHN MARSTON

Well yeah, it could --

BARTENDER

You see, Ross and Fordham claim to be attacking the greatest public menace, which is crime, but in fact are committing crimes themselves, while simultaneously failing to address the actual greatest public problem, which is poverty and the failure of agricultural businesses, as viewed in the struggling MacFarlane Ranch and the abandoned town of Tumbleweed. Industrial revolution, such as the railway, is driving people out of work and the feds are doing nothing to ensure those people are helped. They are ignoring the root causes of crime in favour of viciously advancing on the symptoms, just so they can look good.

Everybody just STARES.

BARTENDER

I'm just saying, is all. If you think on it, there's actually some pretty interesting shit being said here. Anyway, I'm out. Peace!

The BARTENDER walks out again.

EXT. DUTCH'S BASE - BLACKWATER

MARSTON is riding on a FLATBED TRUCK shooting everyone in sight using a MOUNTED GATLING GUN. He gets so excited about SHOOTING PEOPLE that he even SHOOTS HIMSELF a bit just for fun.

Once everyone from SEVEN DIFFERENT POSTAL DISTRICTS has been MURDERED WITH BULLETS, MARSTON dismounts and goes after DUTCH.

A CHASE ensues up THE SAME MOUNTAIN PATH from before. Eventually, MARSTON has DUTCH cornered on the edge of a CLIFF. It is not unlike THAT SCENE FROM THE FUGITIVE.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Ya can't fight change, John. Can't fight -- gravity.

JOHN MARSTON

I didn't want to do this, Dutch.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

I know, John. But you had to. I have to die to hammer home the idea that provincial and martial law must eventually cede to big government, and that ultimately, any rebellion is temporary because it will eventually be either consumed or destroyed by the system.

JOHN MARSTON

You know, I was on a train a while back, with a priest, a lady and a couple of other people, and they were talking about the same thing. Funny, I'd kind of forgotten about all that.In all the killing and the riding around and the picking flowers, I lost track of what was important here. What was, essentially, an interesting idea and a great foundation for a serious, end-of-the-West melodrama. It's a damn shame, Dutch. I took my eye off what was really important and now, at the end of it all, I don't feel any goddamn fulfilment whatsoever.

DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

(shrugs)

Our time is passed, John. You can tell this is sad because my voice seems to be cracking all the time and entering into a falsetto.

DUTCH leaps off the cliff and DIES. When MARSTON goes down there, ROSS shoots DUTCH'S CORPSE using MARSTON'S GUN to make his death look more LEGIT, because this guy, who leveraged MARSTON into KILLING HIS OLD GANG, and by proxy allowed him to KILL THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ILLEGITIMATELY, really gives a shit about KEEPING THINGS ABOVEBOARD.

EDGAR ROSS

Your family's back at your farm. I'll be seeing you la-- I mean, enjoy the rest of your life!

EXT. MARSTON FAMILY FARM

MARSTON arrives on his FARM. Out of the house come his wife, ABIGAIL, and his son, JACK. OSCAR WINNER WALTER BRENNAN is also there.

ABIGAIL MARSTON

You get right back in here, John Marston. Where you been this whole time?

JOHN MARSTON

It's a really really long story. They didn't treat ya too rough, did they?

ABIGAIL MARSTON

A couple of guards tried to get fresh but I showed 'em what for.

JOHN MARSTON

Good. And how about you, boy?

JACK MARSTON

I missed ya, paw.

JOHN MARSTON

I missed you too. And how's the farm been, Uncle?

For some reason everyone calls this guy "UNCLE," even though he's obviously WALTER FUCKING BRENNAN.

"UNCLE"

Yeah, good to see you too, ya ingrate.

JOHN MARSTON

Don't sass me, you lazy old man. You done any work around here or what?

"UNCLE"

No. But don't you go judging me. You's the one been out killin' everybody on Earth.

JOHN MARSTON

You're not wrong. But starting tomorrow, you and me gonna turn this farm around, you got it? It's not like I already made a fuckton of money during my adventures.

"UNCLE"

Yeah, yeah.

"UNCLE" wanders off to go and be in RIO BRAVO, as well as OTHER AWARD-WINNING FILMS.

JOHN MARSTON

For now, let's have some of that home cooking. Been too long since we all sat around the same table. Then tomorrow, I'm gonna start teaching you a few things, boy.

A MONTAGE then shows MARSTON teaching JACK VARIOUS MANLY THINGS LIKE SHOOTING AND HUNTING AND ROUNDING UP HORSES. It's almost as if he's PREPARING HIM FOR SOMETHING, as if one day he might have to TAKE UP THE MANTLE FROM HIS FATHER and be THE MAN AROUND HERE.

There is also a SCENE where MARSTON and WALTER BRENNAN are out rounding up horses and witness a TRAIN ROBBERY IN PROGRESS. MARSTON shoots all the ROBBERS because, once again, ROCKSTAR doesn't trust that people will have the PATIENCE for, or any INTEREST in, pastoral, non-violent, CHARACTER-DEVELOPING SCENES. It's a shame that this mostly admirable sequence, where MARSTON is living back on the FARM and going about his DAILY LIFE, is ruined by the patronising assumptions of the DEVELOPERS and also the admittedly low tastes of VIDEOGAME CONSUMERS.

INT. BARN - MARSTON FAMILY FARM

One day, MARSTON goes to see JACK in the BARN.

JOHN MARSTON

Well, I've taught you how to be a man, Jack.

JACK MARSTON

(now speaking with Batman's guttural growl)

You sure have, paw.

JOHN MARSTON

I guess now we wait.

JACK MARSTON

Did you hear about this aeroplane they're building? They say it can make men fl--

JOHN MARSTON

The woman on the train, Dutch, the whole federal government thing -- we've handled that subtext, son. Don't trowel it on.

ABIGAIL comes running.

ABIGAIL MARSTON

John, it's those guys you were working for! I think they wanna kill you!

JOHN MARSTON

About time. You and Jack get on that horse and get out of here. I'll hold them off.

ABIGAIL MARSTON

Don't lie, you big fucking liar. You're going to let them kill you.

JOHN MARSTON

Not in front of the boy.

JACK MARSTON

I ain't a boy no more.

JOHN MARSTON

Now get!

MARSTON whacks the HORSE and it runs off, carrying ABIGAIL and JACK.

He then goes to the BARN DOOR and sees ROSS and a POSSE OF LAWMEN waiting outside, GUNS DRAWN. During their ASSAULT, WALTER BRENNAN is SHOT AND KILLED, signalling the end of an ILLUSTRIOUS CAREER SPANNING THREE DECADES.

MARSTON sizes up his OPPONENTS. In theory he can kill ALL OF THESE GUYS with his arm, leg, head and torso TIED BEHIND HIS BACK, because as we've seen, he's perfectly capable of MURDERING BASICALLY THE ENTIRE MEXICAN ARMY. But the writers have anticipated people pointing out that INCONSISTENCY and iterated MARSTON'S MOTIVATION thusly: he must SACRIFICE HIMSELF so that the FEDS will no longer endanger or harass his FAMILY. He has to DIE so that ABIGAIL and JACK can LIVE IN PEACE.

JOHN MARSTON

Oh, so now we give a shit about my motivation! When I was in Mexico or out collecting flowers or whatever the fuck, no one said a word, but now, because it's the big dramatic ending bit, we're suddenly like "Oh man oh man, do make sure that my actions are consistent with my motives!" You know, if you'd applied that thinking to the rest of this game, it would have been a lot better. Just saying.

He takes a DEEP BREATH, steps outside and is rapidly GUNNED DOWN BY THE MOB. ROSS in particular seems SATISFIED.

ABIGAIL and JACK, having heard the SHOTS, decide to TURN BACK. They find MARSTON, dead as RAP-ROCK, outside the BARN. Crying ensues. It's actually a bit HEARTBRAKING.

CUT TO:

EXT. MARSTON FAMILY FARM - THREE YEARS LATER

An older and visibly more grizzled JACK is standing at the graves of MARSTON, WALTER BRENNAN and, to our surprise, ABIGAIL. He turns to the CAMERA, looking distractingly like JOHNNY DEPP, then mounts a HORSE and goes in search of EDGAR ROSS, the man WHAT KILLED HIS PAW.

First, he finds ROSS'S WIFE.

JACK MARSTON

I'm looking for Edgar Ross, federal law man extraordinaire.

ROSS'S WIFE

Oh, my husband? He retired from the police some time ago now. Said the uniforms were getting a bit -- what was the word he used? "Sexy."

JACK MARSTON

Know where I can find him?

ROSS'S WIFE

He went fishing by the river, the one where all those Mexicans got shot a few years back. They say it's still haunted!

JACK sets off to the RIVER, where he finds a CAMP occupied by ROSS'S BROTHER.

ROSS'S BROTHER

What you lookin' at, mister?

JACK MARSTON

Your name Ross?

ROSS'S BROTHER

Who's asking?

JACK MARSTON

I'm looking for Edgar Ross.

ROSS'S BROTHER

Oh, that ballsack. He's my brother, but he ain't here. Left about half an hour back, said he didn't want to sit by the camp all night. Said the fire was getting too -- what was the word he used? "Sexy." You'll find him further down river.

JACK sets off again and finds EDGAR ROSS gazing into the WATER.

JACK MARSTON

You Edgar Ross?

EDGAR ROSS

Yeah. How can I help you?

JACK MARSTON

My name is Jack Marston. You killed my father.

EDGAR ROSS

Yes, I seem to recall.

JACK MARSTON

Now I'm here to kill you.

EDGAR ROSS

Is that right? You know, this river ain't what it once was. Something about it's changed. It's getting a bit too -- sexy.

(turns to face Jack)

Okay, boy. Let's settle this.

This DRAMATIC AND SOMBRE MOMENT is spoiled somewhat by the PISTOL DUELLING MINIGAME, which involves heavy use of SLOW MOTION AND COLOUR FILTERS. JACK draws first and KILLS ROSS, but it looks kind of TACKY.

ROSS'S BODY falls into the RIVER and drifts away. There's just enough time to CONTEMPLATE THIS FINAL MURDER. JACK has met this man's WIFE and BROTHER, seen seen his life outside of his WORK and come to better understand him AS A PERSON. That CHARACTERISATION is almost enough to make JACK wonder whether all those people his FATHER killed in AMERICA and MEXICO had lives as well, if everybody he murdered had a WIFE OR A BROTHER OR SOME OTHER FAMILY. The VIOLENCE he's committed suddenly seems both CONSEQUENTIAL and LESS GLAMOROUS. This final act of REVENGE, though grand in a literate kind of way, is actually QUITE LACKLUSTRE. JACK shot dead an OLD MAN while he was out FISHING.

Adding to the BITTERSWEETNESS, JACK has become like his FATHER, something which MARSTON probably wouldn't have wanted. He spent the game, ostensibly, trying to get back to his FARM so he could live PEACEFULLY. And as DUTCH said, the time for OUTLAWS is passed. How long will JACK survive in this world now that he's inherited his FATHER'S TASTE FOR VIOLENCE?

Unfortunately, as quickly as these QUESTIONS are posed, JACK turns again towards the CAMERA and locks into an AWESOME FREEZE FRAME as FUCKING COOL MUSIC starts playing. This ending concisely summarises RED DEAD REDEMPTION as an EXPERIENCE. There are a lot of INTERESTING ASPECTS and GOOD INTENTIONS, but they're ultimately COMPROMISED by the SHALLOW, CHILDISH PROCLIVITIES OF BOTH GAMERS AND DEVELOPERS.

After the CREDITS roll, JACK is still stood by the RIVER. A man approaches on HORSEBACK. It is MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Hey man, nice job!

He throws JACK a BIG BAG WITH A DOLLAR SIGN ON IT.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Catch you later, yeah?

He rides the HORSE into the back of a MASSIVE TRUCK which has the words "GRAND THEFT AUTO V PRODUCTION MEETING" written on the side. In the back of the TRUCK, MEN sit around a table SIPPING BEER and MAKING PAPER PLANES. MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER'S HORSE goes crashing into this scene, knocking FURNITURE and DRINKS everywhere. The men around the table, however, are IMPRESSED.

PRODUCER

Fucking dope horse, dude!

WRITER

Check out the size of that thing's cock, lol.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

High five!

Everybody HIGH-FIVES and more BEERS are cracked.

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

Okay, let's get this meeting started. First up, the script!

PRODUCER

I thought we were going to talk about the PC version of Red Dead --

MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER

YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!

The loading hatch of the TRUCK slams closed and it takes off at HIGH SPEED, rocking from side to side, throwing the WRITERS, the FURNITURE and the HORSE against the walls and ceiling. It continues like this for SEVEN HOURS before crashing into a DITCH. Everyone gets out. MILLIONAIRE DAN HOUSER is holding a MANUSCRIPT. The front page reads "GRAND THEFT AUTO V FINAL DRAFT" and we hear a STOCK APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT.

THE END