FADE IN:

INT. BUSINESS MEETING

PUBLISHER SEGA

Gentlemen, there's no two ways about it. Aliens: Colonial Marines was an unmitigated clusterfuck. I suggest that next time we actually look at a game before putting it on the market.

DEVELOPER CREATIVE ASSEMBLY

Hey, we've got a proposal for you! Instead of constantly adapting the gung-ho military tropes of Aliens, we'd like to go back to the very first Alien movie and use it as a template for a survival horror game! Did your dicks just explode or what?

PUBLISHER SEGA

Wait, don't you guys usually make Total War strategy games? What makes you think you're qualified to do survival horror?

DEVELOPER CREATIVE ASSEMBLY

That'll actually work to our advantage! Expectations for Colonial Marines were sky-high because, come on, how do you fuck that up? We have the opportunity to come out of left field with this.

PUBLISHER SEGA

(stares blankly)

DEVELOPER CREATIVE ASSEMBLY

Okaaay, how about the fact that Colonial Marines still sold bucketloads? You've proven that people will buy anything that has the Alien name attached to it, regardless of actual quality!

PUBLISHER SEGA

Now you're speaking our language. But for God's sake, be respectful of the canon! Don't start pulling any shit like bringing Hicks back or anything!

DEVELOPER CREATIVE ASSEMBLY

Don't worry, we've got it all figured out. We're setting the game fifteen years after the events of the first movie and it will focus on Ripley's daughter.

PUBLISHER SEGA

Fair enough. As long as you make the story about something other than Weyland-Yutani trying to harness the alien. That's so overplayed and it hasn't really worked out for them ever.

DEVELOPER CREATIVE ASSEMBLY

Ehhhh --

FADE TO:

INT. SPACE STATION

AMANDA RIPLEY is aboard a SPACE STATION where she is welding A THING onto ANOTHER THING. CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS enters.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

Hello, Amanda. Oh sorry, I suppose everyone calls you Ripley, right?

(winks at camera)

AMANDA RIPLEY

This is a future where everyone calls each other by their surname, yes. I'll give you a moment to reflect on the entire franchise and find the handful of exceptions to that rule.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

My name is Samuels and I work for Weyland-Yutani. Please don't peg me as abhorrently evil by association right away.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Well, your delivery is quite flat and lifeless, which leads me to suspect you're an android. That can make you either unerringly helpful or a dangerous wildcard. Could go either way!

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

(starts sweating white goop)

Actually, my status as an android will be treated more as an underwhelming aside than a significant plot twist of any kind.

AMANDA RIPLEY

What do you want? I'm busy welding things here. Ever since Flashdance, that's a sign of female empowerment.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

I'm here about your mother, Ripley. I know you're still looking for her after the Nostromo was lost fifteen years ago.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Which is why I'm working for the same company she did and in the same region of space where she disappeared, but let's not make a big psychological thing of it.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

The Nostromo's flight recorder has been recovered and it's currently on board the soon-to-be decommissioned Sevastopol space station. I've been tasked with retrieving it and you can come along if you wish.

AMANDA RIPLEY

I'm sure you're doing this out of the kindness of your power cells without some ulterior motive?

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

Ripley, perhaps this mission may grant you some -- closure.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Oh, goading me into tagging along by bringing up the possibility of closure? That direct nod to Carter Burke might indicate that you're a manipulative little shit. But yeah, let's go.

INT. TORRENS TRANSPORT SHIP

RIPLEY wakes up from HYPERSLEEP and starts RUMMAGING through EVERYONE'S LOCKERS because THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Neat, I can already start collecting crafting materials, even though I'm still in my underwear! Guess I'll just stuff it all down my panties for now.

After getting DRESSED, RIPLEY moves into the TORRENS and meets with SAMUELS in the MEDBAY.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

Ah, Ripley. Hope you don't find it suspicious that you didn't wake up with the rest of us. Say, why are your clothes dripping wet?

AMANDA RIPLEY

I activated a shower cubicle thinking it was an elevator. Derp.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

We really need to signpost those better. Now I'm supposed to casually mention that the design of the Torrens is not unlike that of the Nostromo, but I'm sure the layout of this medbay should pander plenty on its own, right?

AMANDA RIPLEY

Is that why the computer I just used to sign in was a crappy old Commodore? And that the keycard I signed in with was bigger than my hand?

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

Yes! The developers decided to echo the 1979 film's retrofuturistic aesthetic by cobbling this game's art style together from materials that were only available in that year. If something was made later, they didn't allow themselves to use it!

AMANDA RIPLEY

That's really commendable, but did they have to hold the lip-synching technology to that same restriction? Seriously, you're like a goldfish bobbing for food.

RIPLEY continues on to the MESS HALL, where she meets NINA TAYLOR, who kind of looks like a BOOKISH BAYONETTA.

NINA TAYLOR

Hello, Ripley. I'm a legal executive working for Weyland-Yutani. I sure hope the data on the Nostromo's flight recorder will be worth this trip!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Yeah, why do we have to physically retrieve the recorder? Why couldn't the data just be sent out to us?

NINA TAYLOR

Too risky. In keeping with the restrictive art style, all transmissions have to look like crappy VHS footage. We can't chance the data being corrupted that way.

RIPLEY and TAYLOR join SAMUELS on the BRIDGE, where they meet the CAPTAIN OF THE TORRENS, DIANE VERLAINE.

DIANE VERLAINE

We're currently approaching Sevastopol Station. We've tried to hail them, but all we're getting is harried static. We're also seeing some significant structural damage, even though it's nearly impossible to make out on this VHS camera feed. The Torrens won't be able to dock, so you'll have to put on space suits and cross over yourselves.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Isn't that a bit rash? There's obviously something seriously wrong at Sevastopol. We're just gonna spacewalk right the fuck out there?

DIANE VERLAINE

Or we could sit tight and call in the Colonial --

AMANDA RIPLEY

No. NO! Let's suit up and get out there!

RIPLEY, SAMUELS and TAYLOR put on SPACE SUITS and head out into THE COLD HARSH VACUUM OF OUTER SPACE.

EXT. SEVASTOPOL STATION

As they are CROSSING OVER, a piece of DEBRIS slams into their TETHER and knocks SAMUELS AND TAYLOR out of view. RIPLEY makes it to an AIRLOCK.

AMANDA RIPLEY

SAMUELS TAYLOR RESPOND PLEASE OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONE NOOOO!

(beat)

Whelp, I've waited long enough. I'll just shut the airlock now.

RIPLEY heads into SEVASTOPOL and leaves SAMUELS and TAYLOR to their REENACTMENT OF GRAVITY.

INT. SPACEFLIGHT TERMINAL - SEVASTOPOL STATION

After removing her SPACE SUIT, RIPLEY notices that SEVASTOPOL is in DISARRAY.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Great, everything's fucked and I'm all by myself. I guess I'll do what anyone would in this situation: mutter obvious facts to myself.

(beat)

Gosh, this place sure has fallen apart.

She moves into the TERMINAL and sees EXPOSITORY GRAFFITI COVERING A BUNCH OF WALLS, a gimmick that just WILL NOT DIE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Why does everyone always turn into Banksy during a crisis?

After an EXPOSED WIRE teaches her that CROUCHING IS A THING SHE CAN DO, RIPLEY comes across OTHER SURVIVORS RUNNING OFF.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Looks like I won't be able to catch up to them past these knee-high crates, since jumping is a thing I apparently can't do. I'll have to find another way around.

Eventually, RIPLEY crosses a ROOM FILLED WITH BODY BAGS and reaches a DOOR locked by a MAGNETIC BRACE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

I'll need a maintenance jack to open this door. I hope there's one nearby!

An AUDIO LOG conveniently and specifically mentions one lying in AN EVIDENCE LOCKER NEARBY.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Graffiti everywhere, manual save points, frugal inventory management, and now audio logs. We're really playing the survival horror handbook by the numbers.

After retrieving the MAINTENANCE JACK and returning to the DOOR, RIPLEY is suddenly threatened at gunpoint by AXEL, who is ANOTHER SURVIVOR.

AXEL

(sweating profusely)

You do realise you were casually stepping on all these body bags, right? Have you no respect for the dead?

AMANDA RIPLEY

Well, so much for the game's subtitle, but at least I have a sounding board now. What the hell's been going on here?

AXEL

(frothing at the mouth)

There's something on board this station. Something you wouldn't believe! A killer! A MONSTER!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Could you perhaps be a bit more specific?

AXEL

(eyes darting everywhere)

Look, I'm obviously unhinged and on edge, which means I can just keep rambling about vague threats!

AMANDA RIPLEY

I'm assuming you want to get out of here? I came from a transport ship currently orbiting Sevastopol. If you help me contact it, you can have a seat.

AXEL

(twitches involuntarily)

You got yourself a deal. But be warned, you can't trust anyone else! People are just trying to survive right now. This is about survival! SURVIVAL!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, survival. You've made your point.

AXEL

(abdominal distress)

I can't emphasise that enough, because anyone you meet will likely shoot you on sight. Fear reducing man to a solitary and violent creature should work as a general justification.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Thomas Hobbes was right about human nature, got it.

AXEL leads RIPLEY past an ELEVATOR towards the TRANSIT STATION.

AXEL

Let me just try to get on your good side by patronisingly calling you "darling" and "sweetheart" all the time. I'll also maintain no clarity whatsoever in which buttons I can press and which ones I want you to press. Now we'll need to find a vent access to get into the next area.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Here's one. I see they're covered by the same metal sphincters used in the original movie. Hmm, it's pretty dark in there though.

AXEL

Take this radio headset. It comes with a flashlight, but keep in mind that this is a survival horror game, so the batteries will run out impossibly fast and you'll have to scrounge for fresh ones.

After they crawl through the VENT, they find ANOTHER LOCKED DOOR.

AXEL

This door will only open when we separate and activate two consoles simultaneously.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Golly gee, I wonder what will happen!

Sure enough, once the DOOR opens, a SURVIVOR leaps out and starts WRESTLING with AXEL. When RIPLEY intervenes, AXEL SHOOTS HIM.

AXEL

THIS IS ABOUT SURVIVAL! HURRR!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, you've been banging on about the survival part of survival horror for a while now. When does the horror part kick in?

AXEL

Blegh, something is drooling on me!

AXEL is suddenly IMPALED and DRAGGED INTO A VENT by THE ALIEN. RIPLEY has NO IDEA what it is, but WE ALL DO, DON'T WE GUYS? NUDGE NUDGE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Oh there we go.

After collecting herself, RIPLEY takes a TRANSIT CAR to the SYSTECH SPIRE.

INT. SYSTECH SPIRE - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY immediately happens upon YET ANOTHER LOCKED DOOR and starts MUTTERING TO HERSELF AGAIN.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Hmm, this door can only be opened with a security access tuner. There's one here, but it needs a new data cell. Fuck, I feel a trend developing here.

A bunch of TRIGGER-HAPPY SURVIVORS arrives.

SURVIVOR

Everyone spread out! Don't forget to loudly state your intention to shoot on sight and that this is about survival!

RIPLEY evades them and heads for a TECH WORKSHOP, where she finds the NOSTROMO'S FLIGHT RECORDER.

AMANDA RIPLEY

What? My ultimate goal for coming here and it's just sitting on a random desk without being dramatically pointed out to me as fitting music swells? That can't be good aaand the data's corrupted. Of course.

While retrieving a DATA CELL, RIPLEY triggers a LOCKDOWN ALERT. She manages to LIFT IT, but then THE ALIEN DRAMATICALLY DROPS DOWN FROM A VENT AS FITTING MUSIC SWELLS.

ALIEN

Better watch out! My behaviour is entirely unscripted, except when it isn't! Look, right now I'm over here but I've just decided I want to go OVER THERE! Now I feel like spinning in place and hissing for a few seconds. OKAY GOODBYE!

(leaves)

RIPLEY returns to the LOCKED DOOR and uses the ACCESS TUNER to OPEN IT, which involves a MINIGAME.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Good thing I took that engineering course on matching symbols to the same symbols.

INT. SEEGSON COMMS - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY enters SEEGSON COMMS and approaches a COMMERCIAL ANDROID known as a WORKING JOE. It looks like a CRASH TEST DUMMY and is ABOUT AS SMART TOO.

WORKING JOE

Greetings. We are manufactured by the Seegson Corporation, which owns this station. We're programmed to maintain condescendingly cheery dispositions, even when punching you to death! How may I hurt -- I mean, help you?

AMANDA RIPLEY

Yes hi how are you. I need to get into Comms Control.

WORKING JOE

Does not compute. Bleep bleep click.

AMANDA RIPLEY

No wonder Seegson is losing the tech race.

(beat)

Wait, what am I saying? If Weyland-Yutani could manufacture androids that look and act like Ian Holm fifteen years ago and Seegson is still churning out these showroom dummies, how is that even a race? Oh well, maybe these androids won't routinely malfunction and try to kill everyone.

Up ahead, a SURVIVOR attempts to get past a WORKING JOE, who promptly CRUSHES THE GUY AGAINST THE WALL.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Or that, they could do that.

After avoiding the WORKING JOES, RIPLEY finds a MOTION TRACKER in an OFFICE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Oh neat, a motion tracker! Oh wait, I bet this is why it was mandatory for all Sevastopol citizens to have those drinking bird toys and bobbing figurines on their desks.

ALIEN

Hello! Just creating some micro changes in air density over here!

Once in COMMS CONTROL, RIPLEY discovers that ALL EXTERNAL COMMS have been SHUT DOWN. She then finds a TERMINAL which puts her in contact with SAMUELS.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Samuels, you're alive! How did you make it into the station?

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

There's no time to explain! And if there was, I doubt I'd be able to! I need your help, Ripley. Taylor was critically injured during the crossing.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, I suppose fixing people will be a welcome break from fixing busted machinery. I'll be right over.

RIPLEY doubles back and takes a TRANSIT CAR to the SCIMED SPIRE.

INT. SCIMED SPIRE - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY is met by SAMUELS, who is tending to TAYLOR.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

You'll need to find help in the nearby medical facility, Ripley. I'll stay here with Taylor. Incidentally, don't forget that you can access computer terminals to read mails and catch up on the backstory of Seegson and the citizens of Sevastopol!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Yeah, I'm being hunted by a ravenous murder machine that can appear anywhere. I'm not about to expose my back for any reason. My apologies to the writers.

NINA TAYLOR

Can I maybe get a line here? No? Just these slight grunts of pain then? Fine.

(slight grunt of pain)

INT. MEDICAL FACILITY - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY enters the MEDICAL FACILITY and comes across DOCTOR KUHLMAN locked inside HIS OFFICE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Can you help me? My friend needs medical attention. Well, she's not my friend.

DOCTOR KUHLMAN

Yes, but I'm out of medical supplies. You'll have to go get some down in the dispensary.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, I'll get right on that.

DOCTOR KUHLMAN

The elevator to the dispensary is locked, but you can find the passcode in Dr. Morley's office.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Sounds easy enough.

DOCTOR KUHLMAN

You'll need his keycard to get into his office, so find his body by checking the duty roster in the hospital ward and retracing all his steps there.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Getting quite convoluted, but fine.

DOCTOR KUHLMAN

The hospital ward is only accessible when the power's on, so you'll have to find a generator first.

AMANDA RIPLEY

For the love of fuck, how many of these detours do you plan to nest within each other?

DOCTOR KUHLMAN

The generator is behind that nearby panel, which can only be opened with a cutting torch.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Gnaaah, this is getting worse than Condemned: Criminal Origins! At least I've already acquired a torch.

DOCTOR KUHLMAN

That's an ion torch. You'll need a plasma torch.

AMANDA RIPLEY

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU--

After doing ALL THOSE THINGS KUHLMAN MENTIONED, RIPLEY heads down into the DISPENSARY.

ALIEN

Hey, I heard footsteps so I figured I'd drop in! Let me just check up and down this room. Nope, nothing here! Oh well, just stomp around loudly if you need me to kill you or whatever!

AMANDA RIPLEY

I'm going to be turtlecrouching throughout this entire game, aren't I?

ALIEN

I suppose you can feel confident enough to stretch your legs right after using a save point, but then I'll start scurrying through the vents again and you'll have your chin right back to the floor!

While hiding in an OFFICE, RIPLEY locates a VIDEO LOG from DOCTOR LINGARD.

DOCTOR LINGARD

(on monitor)

A few days ago, I admitted a patient with an unknown parasite attached to her face. Eh? Eh? It appears the parasite had planted something inside her. Hmm? Yeah.

After locating the MEDICAL SUPPLIES, RIPLEY is suddenly CORNERED by THE ALIEN.

ALIEN

Aha, I have you dead to rights! Yep, no way out! Fear and tremble at your impending doom!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Actually, this is obviously a cutscene, so I'm sure something will happen right before you --

The entire room BLOWS THE FUCK UP! RIPLEY escapes the CHAOS and heads back to SAMUELS and TAYLOR. OH, KUHLMAN? EATEN.

INT. SCIMED SPIRE - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY meets up with SAMUELS and TAYLOR, who are now joined by MARSHAL WAITS.

MARSHAL WAITS

My name is Waits and I'm in charge of the Colonial --

AMANDA RIPLEY

OH FUCK NO!

MARSHAL WAITS

-- Marshal Bureau of Sevastopol.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Whew. Waits, you say? I've heard flattering things about you in a couple of audio logs. Not.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

Ripley, can we get Taylor to the medical facility?

AMANDA RIPLEY

Not unless you can treat her in absolute silence while holding your breath inside a locker.

MARSHAL WAITS

We have a life support unit back at the Marshal Bureau, but we can only get there when someone gets the transit system back online. Someone who's good at engineering. Someone who's accustomed to nested detours. Someone who --

AMANDA RIPLEY

Yeah yeah, I'm on it.

ISAAC CLARKE

I know how you feel.

After reactivating the TRANSIT SYSTEM, RIPLEY makes her own way over to the MARSHAL BUREAU.

INT. MARSHAL BUREAU - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY meets with WAITS.

AMANDA RIPLEY

How did the alien get onto Sevastopol, Waits?

MARSHAL WAITS

It came in with a crew member of the Anesidora, the salvage vessel that found the Nostromo's flight recorder.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Ah yes, the flight recorder that I already found in an underwhelming fashion.

MARSHAL WAITS

We've got Henry Marlow, the captain of the Anesidora, here in the brig. He won't give me the access codes to his ship, so maybe you can talk them out of him?

AMANDA RIPLEY

Did you just ask me to do something that doesn't involve engineering things?

MARSHAL WAITS

Well technically, it's social engineering.

RIPLEY approaches the BRIG and speaks with MARLOW.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Marlow, my mother was aboard the Nostromo when it went missing, so surely you can appreciate my all-consuming drive to find out what happened. Now tell me everything!

HENRY MARLOW

Sure thing. I'll tell you in a way that'll make you feel as if you were actually there. Such is my storytelling prowess!

AMANDA RIPLEY

We're going to play as you in a flashback, aren't we?

HENRY MARLOW

Yes. As a change of pace, it'll basically be Dear Esther in space.

FADE TO:

EXT. MYSTERIOUS PLANET (WE ALL KNOW IT'S LV-426 THOUGH)

MARLOW and his CREW are in SPACE SUITS looking for a SIGNAL SOURCE.

HENRY MARLOW

Be careful, guys. There's lethal gas vents and wind shears all over the place. One wrong move and you're a goner!

CATHERINE FOSTER

Yes, I'm so worried for your life, husband who is narrating this flashback.

After a BRISK WALK, they happen upon the DERELICT and enter one of its VAGINA DOORWAYS. Inside, they find the SPACE JOCKEY.

CATHERINE FOSTER

Whoa, this is all very mysterious and intriguing. I wonder whether we'll ever find out what this is and where it came from.

HENRY MARLOW

I think it's best left unexplained.

CATHERINE FOSTER

But aren't you in the least bit curious?

HENRY MARLOW

NO I'M NOT AND NOBODY SHOULD EVER TRY TO EXPLAIN THE ORIGIN OF THIS OKAY!

In a ROOM off to the SIDE, MARLOW disables an ALIEN DISTRESS BEACON.

HENRY MARLOW

There, now everyone shut up about that plot hole from Aliens. You're welcome!

MARLOW and FOSTER winch down to the EGG CHAMBER.

HENRY MARLOW

Don't get too close to those eggs, Foster!

CATHERINE FOSTER

Didn't you just carelessly run your hand over that beacon? Besides, I'm sure the writers came up with something original for how the alien was born. They wouldn't have just lifted that part from the first movie wholesale, right?

FACEHUGGER

WRONG!

FOSTER gets her FACE HUGGED and MARLOW takes her to SEVASTOPOL for HELP.

FADE TO:

INT. MARSHAL BUREAU - SEVASTOPOL STATION

MARLOW finishes his STORY.

HENRY MARLOW

So yeah, that's how my wife got a face full of alien wing-wong.

AMANDA RIPLEY

None of that really explains how you found the flight recorder, but I'll let that one slide.

MARSHAL WAITS

Ripley, we've come up with a way to defeat the alien. We've spotted it in the Gemini labs and the plan is to trap it there.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, and then what?

MARSHAL WAITS

That's all I'll say for now, but please proceed as if that's the entire plan.

AMANDA RIPLEY

So you want me to head over there and trap it? Why doesn't Samuels go? It's been established that the alien doesn't attack androids.

MARSHAL WAITS

Perhaps I can convince you by offering you the use of this flamethrower?

AMANDA RIPLEY

FUCK YEAH!

INT. GEMINI LABS - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY enters the GEMINI LABS and is immediately hounded by THE ALIEN.

ALIEN

I'm so unpredictable, ha cha cha!

(starts juggling)

Bet you weren't expecting that, were you?

AMANDA RIPLEY

(uses flamethrower)

Bet you weren't expecting a face full of fire!

ALIEN

Joke's on you, I'm completely fireproof! This is more like a minor nuisance to me. Be right back!

MARSHAL WAITS

You'll need to lock down the area by closing all security doors, Ripley. That'll contain the alien.

AMANDA RIPLEY

And myself along with it. Seriously, how am I not aware that I'm being used as bait here? This chapter is even called Bait!

After LOCKING DOWN THE AREA, RIPLEY heads for one of the LAB MODULES.

MARSHAL WAITS

The labs need to be powered up before you can get in there. In order to do that, you'll have to throw two power breakers located on opposite sides of this level and then reinitialise the distribution conduit.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Yes, this is the fifteenth fucking time that I'm redoing the section where you mention that, so I know already.

ALIEN

It's not my fault you don't have the patience to cower in a locker for minutes on end!

Eventually, RIPLEY manages to LEAD THE ALIEN into the LAB MODULE.

MARSHAL WAITS

I'm sorry, Ripley.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Sorry for what?

MARSHAL WAITS

I can't risk the alien escaping the module now that it's in there, so I'm jettisoning it into space with you still inside.

AMANDA RIPLEY

But I'm three feet from the exit door and the alien is all the way at the back! There's plenty of time for me to get out!

MARSHAL WAITS

Oh, the door is triggered to close when you get within two feet of it. Can we try that again?

RIPLEY approaches the EXIT, which suddenly LOCKS SHUT.

MARSHAL WAITS

I'm sorry, Ripley.

AMANDA RIPLEY

YOU BASTARD!

WAITS belies his NAME and separates the LAB MODULE, which SPINS OFF INTO SPACE. RIPLEY runs past THE ALIEN and makes it over to an AIRLOCK, where she dons a SPACE SUIT.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, if I want to avoid flying off into space, I'll have to time my jump very carefully so I can counter the inertia from the spin of the module OR I CAN JUST PANIC AND GO WHENEVER!

She JUMPS out of the AIRLOCK and makes it back into SEVASTOPOL.

INT. SPACEFLIGHT TERMINAL - SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY briefly BLACKS OUT from all the EFFORT. When she COMES TO, she has changed out of her SPACE SUIT.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Oh no, I didn't black out. That's just the regular gaming shorthand for changing outfits.

MARSHAL WAITS

Ripley! You're alive! I hope you understand why I did what I did. I'm a massive prick!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Whatever. At least the alien is dealt with. Sooo -- roll credits?

MARSHAL WAITS

Oh no, something's wrong with the Working Joes! They're turning on everyone! More so!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Wait, so all androids are fair game now and the titular threat that kept forcing me to be quiet and restrained has vanished?

MARSHAL WAITS

That's right.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Ohohooo, this is going to be sweet!

DEVELOPER CREATIVE ASSEMBLY

Here, have a fucking shotgun.

AMANDA RIPLEY

EVEN BETTER!

On her way to the MARSHAL BUREAU, RIPLEY cackles madly as she VIOLENTLY WIPES OUT EVERY WORKING JOE while loudly STOMPING HER FEET.

WORKING JOE

You are being hysterical.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Oh, a man going on a rampage is all well and good, but when a woman does it she's hysterical? FUCK YOU!

INT. MARSHAL BUREAU - SEVASTOPOL STATION

As she approaches the MARSHAL BUREAU, WAITS gets in touch with RIPLEY.

MARSHAL WAITS

I've sent out Samuels to check on APOLLO, the station's mainframe. Maybe he can get it to pacify the Working Joes again. I'm hoping he'll start with the one that's throttling me as I speak. Urk!

(dies)

RIPLEY races inside and finds that DEPUTY MARSHAL RICARDO is the ONLY SURVIVOR. There's NO SIGN of TAYLOR and MARLOW.

MARSHAL RICARDO

(whimper)

Ripley! What are we going to do?

AMANDA RIPLEY

Let's go see Samuels in Seegson Synthetics. Oof, that was quite the tongue twister.

MARSHAL RICARDO

I'm not going anywhere! I'm obviously having a nervous breakdown!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Don't worry about it. This game just tries to make my character as a strong, able woman stand out more by weakening the men around me. You just stay here and be the new voice in my ear.

RIPLEY returns to the SYSTECH SPIRE and enters SEEGSON SYNTHETICS.

INT. SEEGSON SYNTHETICS - SEVASTOPOL STATION

As she crawls through a VENT, RIPLEY sees SAMUELS KICKING THE EVERLOVING GOOP out of a WORKING JOE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Hell yeah! Show that dummy who's the man -- machine!

MARSHAL RICARDO

You need to find Samuels, Ripley.

AMANDA RIPLEY

But I just did. He was right there!

MARSHAL RICARDO

Yes, but for some reason you didn't call out to him and let him know you were there. Go find him again!

Eventually, RIPLEY reaches a ROOM which has LOTS OF AMMO, MEDKITS, PRECRAFTED BOMBS and a SAVE POINT.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Ouch, I can tell this is going to be bad.

And yes, RIPLEY is soon SWARMED BY WORKING JOES. She works her way THROUGH THEM and finally locates SAMUELS AGAIN.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

Ripley, you're alive! Look, only Seegson androids can access APOLLO, so I'll have to reformat myself before I can order the Working Joes to stand down.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Samuels, you can't do that! Don't you know that if you argue with fools, they will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience? You'll be giving APOLLO a head start this way!

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

I have to try, Ripley. Here I go.

SAMUELS interfaces with APOLLO and is immediately OVERWHELMED BY THE STUPID.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

Oh my God, this is impossible! Who wrote this code? Jesus! Ripley, APOLLO won't listen to me! You need to manually disconnect me! You'll have to shut down five generators in a precise order! Please don't be colour blind!

RIPLEY manages to DISCONNECT SAMUELS from APOLLO.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

It's too late. I can't come back from that level of idiocy. All I could do in there was open the way to APOLLO's core for you.

AMANDA RIPLEY

So you ended up being unerringly helpful. Truly, if a machine can learn the value of human life, maybe we can too.

CHRISTOPHER SAMUELS

I wanted you to have -- closure.

(dies)

AMANDA RIPLEY

Right, my mom! I keep forgetting! The only closure I've really experienced so far is pretty much every door having been locked.

RIPLEY takes a TRANSIT CAR to the APOLLO CORE.

INT. APOLLO CORE - SEVASTOPOL STATION

Before she can enter the CORE, RIPLEY has to pass through a METAL DETECTOR.

MARSHAL RICARDO

You'll have to leave all your weapons behind before you can go through, Ripley.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Well, that's contrived. But I can still hold on to my crafted bombs and bludgeoning tools?

MARSHAL RICARDO

It's more a weapons detector than a metal detector.

The CORE is being patrolled by WORKING JOES IN CLEANSUITS which make them RESISTANT TO FIRE AND EMP.

AMANDA RIPLEY

This is payback for when I was finally let loose on you guys, isn't it?

WORKING JOE

You will turtlecrouch throughout this entire area ha ha.

RIPLEY sneaks past the WORKING JOES, makes her way into APOLLO'S CORE and ACCESSES IT.

AMANDA RIPLEY

According to this, Weyland-Yutani bought out Seegson a few days ago and reprogrammed APOLLO to protect the alien at all costs! The Working Joes aren't malfunctioning, they've been ordered to eliminate any threat to what Weyland-Yutani wants!

MARSHAL RICARDO

So what you're trying to say is --

AMANDA RIPLEY

Weyland-Yutani is trying to harness the alien! Which would only have been a surprising plot twist if they were doing the exact opposite of that.

MARSHAL RICARDO

But the alien's been dealt with. Why isn't APOLLO calling off the Working Joes?

AMANDA RIPLEY

I don't know, but it has something to do with the reactor core. I'm headed down there right now.

On her way to the REACTOR CORE, RIPLEY recovers her WEAPONS and acquires a MAKESHIFT BOLT GUN on top, so SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Well, that's even more contrived.

INT. REACTOR CORE – SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY descends into the CORE and discovers it's been transformed into a HIVE, which means SECRETED RESIN, COCOONED HUMANS, FACEHUGGERS AND LOTS OF ALIENS EVERYWHERE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Oh my God! Ricardo, my assumption that the rest of the game wouldn't be entirely about fighting androids has turned out to be accurate! There's an entire nest underneath the reactor!

MARSHAL RICARDO

I thought dealing with that first alien was way too underwhelming!

ALIEN

Like what we've done with the place? Yes, there's a lot more of us now!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, this is getting dangerously close to a set piece from Aliens, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to use the reactor to destroy your little nest.

RIPLEY makes her way through the HIVE and manages to OVERLOAD THE CORES.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Ricardo, I just overloaded the cores, so now I'm going to decouple the emergency overflow circuits that feed excess power into the local capacitor banks! That way, the outflow from a reactor purge will be external, which should take out the nest!

MARSHAL RICARDO

I have no idea what you just said.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Me neither, but I'm sure it'll all boil down to a lot of lever pulling and hacking minigames.

It DOES. Eventually, RIPLEY triggers a REACTOR PURGE and destroys the HIVE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Right, that already felt a lot less underwhelming. That's it then? Roll credits?

MARSHAL RICARDO

Oh no, a few aliens survived the purge and now they're headed into Sevastopol!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Goddamnit, why does this game keep ending and then not ending? Stop it!

MARSHAL RICARDO

Also, I've just uncovered a recording from the Marshal Bureau! Apparently, Taylor freed Marlow in exchange for information on the derelict he found! Remember Taylor? The one who works for Weyland-Yutani?

AMANDA RIPLEY

So she's the amoral corporate executive? She sure fooled me. I mean, I thought she was really an okay gal.

MARSHAL RICARDO

Marlow managed to remotely call the Anesidora into a holding pattern near Sevastopol and took a short-range shuttle over to it. That ship is our only ticket out of here, so go after him!

After finding another SHUTTLE in the MEDICAL FACILITY, RIPLEY takes it over to the ANESIDORA.

INT. ANESIDORA SALVAGE VESSEL

Once inside, RIPLEY comes across a TERMINAL with a MESSAGE FROM HER MOTHER that MARLOW stole off the NOSTROMO'S FLIGHT RECORDER.

ELLEN RIPLEY

This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.

(beat)

P.S.! I am recording an additional message for my daughter and it's totally canon because they got Sigourney Weaver to voice me! Amanda, my darling. I want you to know that I blew up the Nostromo to protect humanity, and by extension you, from a dangerous and unscripted alien organism that had gotten aboard and killed my entire crew. It was the only way to stop it! Should this message ever reach you through some plot contrivance, I hope it will give you some OH HOLY JESUS FUCK! Sorry, Jonesy just clawed at my face! You little shithead. Where was I? Oh yes -- closure.

As the MESSAGE ENDS, MARLOW and TAYLOR appear in the ENGINE ROOM nearby.

HENRY MARLOW

Now you understand, Ripley. The only way to destroy the aliens is to wipe out their entire environment and leave no ground for them to go to! That's why I'm going to overload the Anesidora's fusion reactor and use it to nuke Sevastopol from orbit! It's the only way to be sure.

AMANDA RIPLEY

We can't do this!

HENRY MARLOW

You can help me by -- wait, what?

AMANDA RIPLEY

You have to stop, Marlow!

HENRY MARLOW

Whoa, let me get this straight. You've spent the last fifteen years wondering what happened to your mother to the point that it defined your entire career. And now you haven't just found out what she went through, you've lived it! Your mother was forced to make a terrible decision in order to safeguard humanity and now you're in a position to follow her noble example after enduring pretty much exactly the same ordeal! And you're not going to do it? Why?

AMANDA RIPLEY

You've answered your own question, Marlow. I did endure pretty much exactly the same ordeal my mother did! Rehashing that entire story beat for beat is just so derivative! If I wanted that, I would have just played the Crew Expendable and Last Survivor DLC missions! No, this is my chance to do my own thing! Be my own woman!

HENRY MARLOW

So you're basically saying: "Love ya mom, but you were wrong!"

TAYLOR suddenly BRAINS MARLOW with a WRENCH.

NINA TAYLOR

I got to do something! Now help me stop the reactor overload, Ripley! I swear this isn't about stopping the aliens from being killed!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, but the last time I had to save someone's from another room, they died anyway after a brief glimmer of hope.

RIPLEY seems successful in SHUTTING DOWN THE REACTOR, but then it BLOWS ANYWAY and KILLS TAYLOR.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Figures. Oh well, another ending in the bag.

After a MAD DASH back to the SHUTTLE, RIPLEY manages to ESCAPE THE ANESIDORA.

INT. MEDICAL FACILITY – SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY is back on SEVASTOPOL.

MARSHAL RICARDO

Ripley, did you see the Anesidora go up? It was a beautifully rendered explosion!

AMANDA RIPLEY

I'll just have to take your word for that.

MARSHAL RICARDO

The problem is that the blast took out Sevastopol's orbital stabilisers! The station's going to crash into the nearby gas giant!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Then we'll have to contact the Torrens! I'm just going to assume that Verlaine is the most patient person in the entire universe.

MARSHAL RICARDO

Right, the Torrens! I don't know why I said the Anesidora was our only ticket out of here. Okay, head over to Seegson Comms and manually align the transmitter dishes! Be careful though, there's a bunch of trigger-happy security guards in that area.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Let me guess, they're just trying to survive?

INT. SEEGSON COMMS – SEVASTOPOL STATION

RIPLEY enters SEEGSON COMMS and sneaks past the GUARDS.

GUARD #1

Did you hear something just now? Sounded a lot like someone torching open an access panel and then slamming it to the floor with a loud bang.

GUARD #2

I'm sure it was just the wind.

Eventually, RIPLEY manages to CONTACT THE TORRENS after doing A WHOLE BUNCH OF CRAP WE WON'T BE GOING INTO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

DIANE VERLAINE

Ripley! What happened down there?

AMANDA RIPLEY

There's really seriously truly very much no time to explain! Can you pick us up?

DIANE VERLAINE

I'll bring the Torrens in! You'll have to extend the docking clamp!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Wait, didn't we spacewalk over to Sevastopol earlier because there was too much damage to dock? There's even more damage now!

DIANE VERLAINE

There's a maintenance umbilical that could --

(beat)

Okay fine, I was just trying to set up another five or six detours. Put on a suit and float out already.

While trying to put on a SPACE SUIT, an ALIEN suddenly drags RIPLEY through a VENT. She ends up COCOONED in ANOTHER HIVE.

AMANDA RIPLEY

FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP FAKING ME OUT BY ENDING THE GAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

(beat)

Huh, I was out for a while and now I've woken up stuck to the wall with empty eggs nearby. While all this would imply that I've been impregnated, I'll just continue as if that's not the case!

RIPLEY manages to TEAR HERSELF FREE and starts heading back to SEEGSON COMMS.

DIANE VERLAINE

Ripley! You can still make it to the Torrens, but it's going to take even more detours now! Seriously, your way is blocked by a long-winded sequence of every single obstacle you've encountered so far! Generators, keycards, passcodes, things to torch, you name it! Oh, and every elevator you get into will crash.

ALIEN

And we're all super pissed off so we'll be right on your ass for the entire duration of it!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Ah, but there suddenly seem to be autosaves in addition to manual save points now! At least the game's acknowledging that this part is going to be a major drag.

Eventually, RIPLEY manages to reach the TORRENS.

DIANE VERLAINE

Ripley, there's one last thing.

AMANDA RIPLEY

OH MY GOD WHAT?

DIANE VERLAINE

I tried docking with that maintenance umbilical and now Sevastopol is dragging the Torrens down with it! You'll have to engage the emergency release. I know "emergency release" sounds like it should be a single button right here on my console, but it's actually located on the outside of the ship and it constitutes the same lengthy process as the self-destruct sequence from the Nostromo!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Fuck, they picked a hell of a time to pander!

After putting on a SPACE SUIT and NOT GETTING DRAGGED OFF THIS TIME, RIPLEY succeeds in RELEASING THE TORRENS. She BOARDS IT as SEVASTOPOL crashes into the GAS GIANT. OH, RICARDO? FACEHUGGED.

INT. TORRENS TRANSPORT SHIP

RIPLEY is still in her SPACE SUIT and VERLAINE is suddenly NOT RESPONDING.

AMANDA RIPLEY

Okay, let's review. I've escaped the Sevastopol and safely made it to an escape vessel, but I've been tricked by endings that weren't endings before. Verlaine is nowhere to be seen or heard and I have no option to take off this space suit.

(sighs)

Very well, bring on the one alien that snuck aboard.

An ALIEN emerges from the BRIDGE, so VERLAINE is probably ALL KINDS OF DEAD.

ALIEN

Surprise! Did you know that this exact same thing also happened to your mother?

AMANDA RIPLEY

Gah! You mean she thought she was safe only to be ambushed by a stowaway alien?

ALIEN

Yep!

AMANDA RIPLEY

And she was wearing a space suit?

ALIEN

Correct!

AMANDA RIPLEY

And she saw no other way out besides luring the alien into an airlock and blowing both it and herself out into space?

ALIEN

Actually, she managed to do that without sacrificing herself!

AMANDA RIPLEY

Well then, guess there's only one way I can mix that up and be my own woman.

RIPLEY backs into the AIRLOCK and jettisons BOTH THE ALIEN AND HERSELF into SPACE. She gently FLOATS AWAY and DOZES OFF, but is then AWAKENED by a FLASH OF LIGHT.

THE END

AMANDA RIPLEY

For real this time?

YES, FOR REAL THIS TIME